Letting Go

You know how some people will say they have really let themselves go and by that they mean they ate a cupcake while on their diet or haven't done laundry in over a week?

I envy those people. The gym and I have been having a rough patch and only see each other about once a week for half an hour. Other than that, I am now drinking soda in any flavor just to stay alive, pretzels are whats for dinner, I only wash my underwear because I think that's the only thing that matters, and now sleeping on the couch is no longer a novelty. It is a necessity.

Now you might be asking yourself, what does sleeping on a couch have to do with anything? Well, because I don't actually fit on my bed anymore.

So now you might be thinking "why don't you just dump it onto the floor?"

Well, because then, I won't actually be able to fit in my room, anymore.

Yeah. I remember someone once telling me that I was put together. I think I remember it so well because that was the only time it has ever happened.

On a lighter note, I have been slowly coming back. Today, I tried to see how many articles of clothing I could put away while brushing my teeth. It's a good idea, in theory. But unless I want to brush my teeth for 6 straight hours, I should probably come up with a different method.

A little advice.

"I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite."
-CK Chesterton
I've never heard of him (him?) but I sure love the quote.

I have started to find that other people's advice is not always a bad thing. Some people know what they are talking about and some have experience in the matter of which I need advice.

However, some do not. Some people have very different experiences and have lived very different lives than mine. I rarely give people advice because I am a very circumstantial person. (I'm not sure if I used that word in the right context) what I mean is that I think everyone has a different situation and different story and what I would do in a situation is different than what they would or should do. So really my advice is no good unless I have been there...or I'm giving the advice to myself, even then it's questionable.

No one's family life is the same. No one's dating life is the same. Everyone has different goals, dreams, and aspirations. We may all see fit that we end up in the same place but not very many of us will get there by taking the same route.

That being said, unless we know why we are saying what we are saying, sometimes our personal wisdom really isn't that necessary to share with someone when we don't know them on a personal level.

I'm not saying advice is bad. Advice is meant to be shared. As long as you can differentiate between good advice and strong opinion.

I'm Lovin' It

It is that time of year again. The moment I don't realize is happening, until it's happening.

I always love Monopoly time at McDonald's. I am entirely convinced that the amount of McDonald's my family consumes we will eventually make us millionaires.

The real problem I am currently facing is this:

Both of them are only a dollar. Only one of them has Monopoly stickers.
Guess which one that is..

(Hint: not the bigger one.)

Sgt. Maxwell the 1st (and only)

I will never forget the day that Maxwell came into my life. My dad was not thrilled about it and had no idea that Max would be the only dog that stuck around for so long.

Max was the kind of dog that made people question if they really hated dogs or not. He was brilliant. He knew every trick from giving fives to army crawling (that's why we call him the Sarge) . He learned how to spell walk and car, I think that's all he really ever liked. Going for rides in the car and walks. I wouldn't be able to count the number of miles we have walked together and the number of times he was my main source of comfort. So many memories, I'd start from the beginning but it would take a few years to explain.

He learned how to unlock our back door so we could sneak in during the day...or night. He knew when company came over he had to "go hide" which to him meant "sleep under the couch". He worried so much about being a good dog. He loved everyone. I don't just mean he loved other people, he loved everyone including the toad that lived in the window well.

He was an emotional dog. He broke out in hives when he got nervous and if you took his collar off, he was lost. Unless you did it to scratch his neck.

No amount of words can give this dog justice. He was just too great.

I love you Maxwell. Thanks for years of endless amusement and love. Thank you for being a constant companion to everyone that ever needed it. Thanks for always going crazy when I came home and for being sad every time you saw one of us packing to leave. Thanks for car rides and walks. Thanks for knowing how to smile.
You will be greatly missed and always, irreplaceable.

“So we see that the Lord intends to save, not only the earth and the heavens, not only man who dwells upon the earth, but all things which he has created. The animals, the fishes of the sea, the fowls of the air, as well as man, are to be recreated, or renewed, through the resurrection, for they too are living souls.”-Joseph Fielding Smith

Doctrine.

Until we meet again, Fluffy.

Faith

Faith is to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true.



The other day I was texting my friend and I said "I think Heavenly Father is laughing at me right now". She replied saying "I think he's teaching you to have a little faith."

She has a really good point. I always considered myself to have a great amount of faith. I have never questioned the truth of the church and I have always had faith that things always have a way of working themselves out. Regardless of how it works out, it's never as bad as we think, a lot of the time it's even better than we think.

Over the past few months my faith has not been tested. As far as me and my life were concerned, my faith was there but sitting still. Not needing to be used and not being tried at all.

It wasn't until my friend told me this that I really stopped and thought about the amount of things that have happened to me in the past few months, that weren't faith testers but were faith provers. There was an event where I silently looked up at the sky and asked Heavenly Father where he was, to help get me out of a situation, and within seconds I was saved. There was a time when I prayed asking that I could feel at peace with something that was going to happen and I had no control over. I asked that if I couldn't have more time, I could be at peace with that. That very day I was overcome with a huge amount of love and a feeling that told me it's going to be ok and I am not alone in this.

Through a simple text message response, I was able to see that I need to have more faith. I need to have faith in things that cannot happen immediately. I need to have faith that the good decisions I make today will lead not only to a good tomorrow but to a good forever.

I have always had a great amount of faith in Heavenly Father and I have always known of the truth that is restored on this earth. I have taken huge leaps of faith and muttered short prayers only to see and feel his love for me. Whether it happened that day or years down the road. His love is there. He shows it to us through our families and friends. He shows it to us by surrounding us with beauty. He shows it to us by simply giving us that feeling of peace we have been longing for.

When he sent us to earth he had faith in us. He gives us challenges because he has unwavering faith that we can overcome adversity. When I was told that maybe I was being taught to have a little faith, I thought I already have enough faith. But sometimes we need a reminder that even though we have put our faith in God, we need to find a little faith in ourselves, as well.

New Pet(s)?!

Last night we caught ourselves a nice little wolf spider. The bugger on the left tried sneaking into our house. It was one of those things where he was too big too kill, but too big to let live. I don't know, sounds like a lose lose situation for all parties involved.

We left him outside by our door, because what the heck else would we do?

This morning as I was leaving for work, this is what I found.

Why does everything funny always have to happen when I'm by myself? I have been laughing for a solid 30 minutes, it might be because it is way too early to function.

sexpectations

In the movie 500 Days of Summer there is a part where Tom (who is in love with Summer, who is not particularly in love with Tom) goes to a party that Summer invited him to. The screen splits into two and there it shows Tom's reality and Tom's expectations. Tom plans on going and having him and Summer talk the night away and probably even dance some, it shows them having intimate conversation in a corner away from everyone else. The reality was, though, that he had been invited to Summer's engagement party, she was not engaged to Tom if that's what you are asking. He is devastated and it is really sad.

Everyday we go into it knowing what to expect and what is expected of us. I know what is expected of me as an employee, a student, and a sister/babysitter/aunt/friend. Although I don't always reach my expectations and I rarely will exceed them, I know what they are and I try to obtain them.

Of course there is a particular thing that occasionally happens that I no longer can even fathom any portion of what to expect or what is expected of me. It's called social interaction with the male gender. It does not matter who it is or what they are like, for one reason or another, it will not go as planned. I typically know what to expect from different guys, All you have to know is the stereotype of what brand of pants they are wearing and how they do their hair.

I came across a really nice boy not too long ago. He is nice and he is funny and he's one of those boys that you see and all of the sudden you turn on your obnoxious charm button and try to work it the best you can. It doesn't take this boy very long to talk to you, invite you over for a movie, and text you at random times during the week. The texting continues. And that is all.

Then there is another type of expectations, the one you have once you already have the date in the bag. I recently was put in a situation where I had high expectations. I remember thinking something along the lines of"optimistic". I wouldn't ever say that word out loud, mind you.

To give you a brief synopsis of what happened (and an explanation of the blog title) on Friday night I went out with this boy that was quite charming. We had been talking all week and a lot of excitement was expressed for Friday to come. On Friday we talked about things we look for in a relationship and what we expect of the person we are dating. It was good conversation and a really good time. I thought going to the park, afterward, was safe until I was told by my date that he was an "all or nothing" kind of guy. Ahem. If you don't know what that means I'm sure he would gladly explain it for you, as he did me. He even told me I shouldn't pull the religion card after I told him I won't allow him to drag me to hell with him (dramatic but it stung him a little). Did I mention we met at church? After some conversation had taken place I sat on this blanket staring at the sky and all I could see was two different screens. One titled "reality" and one titled "expectations". The rest of my night was narrated by a somewhat mocking voice talking about the two poor suckers that went into the night expecting totally opposite things to take place.

I generally know what to expect when I have a date. I know what my feelings are before I go out with the guy and it's rare that a date is going to change my mind. But after all is said and done and I repeatedly say "but maybe this guy really is different" I finally have come to terms with what guys really expect from me.

They want to be my text friend or they want to be my sex friend.

How flattering.