Cliche Moment

All I ever do is complain about visiting teaching. I think it's dumb and the last thing I want to do is go pretend to be fake nice to someone for 1/2 an hour of my month and I don't want anyone doing the same thing back to me.

The stories are so dumb about how people's visiting teachers just saved their day. The people that just RAVE about it clearly their companion is their best friend and they visit their roommates. So dumb, can't stand it.

Yesterday my visiting teacher brought me the absolute best strawberry cupcakes on the planet and said she wanted to bring them by before I left for my trip. She is so nice & incredibly sincere, it kills me. She had no idea how bad I needed a cupcake & the quote that was taped to the saran wrap. Made my day.
And I ate a cupcake in 4 seconds flat. It was so delicious.



Testimony fulfilled.
Whatever.

Boys Toy

You know those days where something really great is supposed to happen but the half empty side of you says it's not going to?
I had that day Sunday.

Much to my opposite of dismay at 3:42 I got a text asking when I could come over. Someone's life was spared.

I went over to (we will call him "Jeremy") Jeremy's and we ate some salmon (insert nine hearts for how much I love salmon) and then we went on a motorcycle ride. I have never been on a motorcycle before. The only thing more fun than that, is being yanked behind the back of a boat on a giant banana.

We went up Provo Canyon and drove around a small town, not quite Raymond status but still a great little place, called Wallsburg. I tried to play it cool when he kept asking if I was having fun and stating how much he loves small town life. I would give him an "oh yeah" or "yeah this is sweet". What I was thinking as to what I was saying were pretty different. I wanted to say "My only dream in life is to live on a farm and it seems as though we have similar aspirations so why don't we stay here and never go back to real life?". I enjoy Jeremy's company enough to keep my thoughts to myself. So my simple head nods and one word answers would suffice.

Then we went and drove around Jordanelle. It was the most beautiful night to be out. I don't like to use that word to describe things other than food and my beautiful ankles, so I hope you guys realize just how pretty the whole drive was without me having to overly emphasize.

I caught a small glimpse of what Heaven is like. Sun going down behind the mountains and reflecting on the lake. Not too cold, not too hot, and a stomach full of fish.

Everything was as perfect as Jeremy's pearly white teethed face, with aviators and a bandanna on.

Mother dear, I love you so.

This is so true, it's scary.
I love you Mom!

One Track Mind

I am a junk food junkie. I want to know who started promoting gum as a cure to stop eating, you buy it in packs so that you can spit it out at any time, to eat, and it can be replaced when you are done eating. I really hate this trait about myself. I remember at one point, when I was little, I thought chocolate and pizza were gross? The thought of not liking those, is now what's gross.

Everyday I start out the day with a bowl of cereal (typically multi grain cheerios or something else that's healthy/fiberish), I work out, then I eat an apple. I then eat lunch with is usually a chicken salad or some type of healthy sandwich. But something happens between noon and four that I cannot explain. The sugar beast is unleashed and all I want is cookies, brownies, a chocolate shake, and maybe some fries.

All control is lost. What is even worse is the people that support these habits. Wednesday, I did well (In n Out counts as "well"...I didn't eat ALL my fries..). Then I went to a Cinco De Mayo party, two burritos and a slice of cheesecake later, I went home. Thursday was good, I probably only settled for a box of junior mints or something. Friday I did well again, until I went to my friend Jesse's (at 11 at night-which is even better) and I started downing a bag of those really good Mother's cookies-the brown ones with the white frosting, oh man. It was discussed between Brian and Jesse that clearly I had not had dinner that night. I let them continue to think that as I drooled over Jesse's roommates cheeseburger so Jesse made me a burrito and gave me some chips and salsa.

Today was a similar day. I was doing great this morning and then Tommy came into work. With a plate full of homemade, fresh out of the oven, gooey, chocolate chip cookies.
Imagine that plate with three more cookies on it and that is what it looked like ten minutes ago.

Sometimes I think I should go buy some diet pills or something to help curb my appetite, but then I get to the grocery store and I see what I would be missing out on with this said "curbed appetite" and my mind is instantly changed, for the better.

I can't decide on a title.

In the morning before I pour a bowl of cereal, I always taste each kind before I can choose which one I want to eat.

I'm not good at making decisions. I don't really like to for several reasons. One reason is because the decision could be too big and could alter my life. Other reasons are because all options sound appealing or because I'm afraid that whoever I am with doesn't like what I chose. Either way, I'm not going to decide.

A perfect example is when I was taking a personality test and I had narrowed down the answer to two: indecisive or something I can't remember. I asked everyone "Do you guys think I'm indecisive or (other one)" They all started laughing and said "I think you have your answer".

It got to the point that I could never decide between cheesecake with raspberry ice cream or red velvet with brownies-from Maggie Moo's-that I just started combining all of those together. So far, that's been my best decision yet.

On Sunday my bishop was talking to us about how the decisions we make right now in our lives (us meaning the young single adults) are the ones that will effect us the most. We choose what to study in school and where to go to school, we choose who we want to date and/or marry, we choose where we want to work, everything we are doing RIGHT NOW will literally change our lives. I feel enough anxiety at 8:00 on the morning wondering if honey bunches of oats really was what I should have eaten. How on earth am I to be expected to decide a future life?

There is nothing worse than knowing when there is no right or wrong choice. There is choice A, B, C, D, etc. And quite frankly, they all could be good. One might be better than another for whatever reason but really-in the end it gets you to the same place. Just with different experiences and people.

Answers don't seem to come to me as easy as they do to other people. So many people always talk about how they just knew that something was what they were supposed to do. It's clear when I am not supposed to do something but when it comes to what I should do, I feel I'm entirely on my own. I loved what the 2nd counselor in my bishopric said about his wife, he said he kept praying to know that she was the right one and he never got that answer. But he did get the answer that she was not the wrong one, so the rest is history.

I don't know what I should be studying or where I should be studying. I don't know which guy is the one I should pursue more than the next or what I should wear tomorrow. I am not sure how much it even matters, anymore. But what I do know is that even if I feel like I'm not being directed into a particular direction, I know that I will never be led astray and that I will be given the best life for me, as long as I give my best in return.

If your body is a temple, sculpt it like one.

If you are ever feeling out of shape (or irregular) do this.

I've done it three times this past week and I feel like I'm 20 again. It is incredibly, painfully, difficult and your muscles feel like they are bleeding the next day. I usually stop to die about every 7th minute. But seriously, do it.

Never.Felt.Better.