Just Curious

Today I was reading about oral hygiene.
I told you I don't have facebook right now, so that would explain why I was doing that.


There were 5 tips on how to keep a kids teeth healthy. Number 5 was...do not dip their pacifier in syrup or honey.


Can someone enlighten me as to why you would ever do that in the first place?

Water bored

I've always liked to drink water. I drank tap water for the majority of my life, until we moved to Wisconsin and there drinking tap water tasted worse than blood. Then I started drinking brita or fridge door water but by drinking brita meant that it was cold and drinking from the fridge meant you obviously added ice, since it was conveniently there with the push of a button.

So I had gotten a little more picky with my water-mainly it's temperature but slightly because of it's taste.

Then something terribly wonderful happened. The invention of this. And even worse, that's the water that my work sells.

You think Dasani is good? You think Fiji is good? Have you tried this stuff? It takes me all of 15 minutes to drink a 20 ouncer.

I have no idea what they do but drinking it feels like you have stuck a straw into a crisp cumulonimbus.

Once in a while, I will try and be conservative by bringing a water bottle from home. I put it in the fridge over night so that it is cold enough. Did that last night. I'm about 4 oz into it and gagging. I'm eating goldfish to try and drown out the flavor of this ordinary garbage water.

Moral of the story? Smart Water..is genius water. I am addicted.

three's a crowd

"individuals are smart, it's people that are dumb"
-the current fwb

I concur.

In theory

In the off chance that I were to date again, here are a few short and simple things that I will never do or say again.

1. I will never say "if it ends, it will totally be his choice".

2. He will be considered my friend and nothing more than my friend, at all times, regardless. If we are caught showing affection..he is nothing more than a friend with benefits. And we all know that's wrong, so it won't happen.

3. I will acknowledge that any and all eye rolls at the expense of my relationship, are much more valid than whatever statement I just made about it.

4. I will not point out that he has good qualities.
Or that he's funny.

5. I will make up names so that outsiders
will stop getting so attached.

6. I will never, ever, again say "The new hot guy in my ward invited me over". Actually, maybe I will say that, and it will be followed with a "and I said no (chance in hell) thanks".

7. If someone asks if I am dating someone, I will say nope.
If they ask if they can set me up, I will say nope.

8. If anyone were to see me and a particular friend in public and later ask me about it I will act as though I have no idea what they are talking about.
Or say "that was definitely my sister".

9. I will never tell them what I like about them because that will go one of two ways.
A.They will use it to their advantage to try and get me back
B. They will use it to their advantage because other girls probably like it too.
Either way, it's used to their advantage not mine
and that is stupid.

10. Lastly, I will take everything I ever thought and forget about it.
Everything I ever believed is currently being defied.
So, I guess I roll with it.

This is all a great idea, in theory. We'll see how long I last before I start doodling names on scratch paper.

Oh brother

I grew up with four brothers. Two of them were the meanest people alive and the younger two were pretty sweet, unless commanded to behave differently by one of the older brothers (usually the eldest).

They loved to pick on me because I was always prepared to scream and cry. My mom was constantly telling me that they do it for the reaction and I was constantly resenting her for not just being on my side and telling them how horrible they were and that she would never leave me unattended with them again.

As I have gotten older the constant pestering has not stopped. It's things like being duct taped, thrown in snow, ice cubes down the back of your shirt, whatever. I entirely blame my brothers on my strange dating life. If a guy isn't tormenting me and trying to find new ways to laugh at my expense..I don't think he really likes me. Or he's girly.

Anyway, despite the fact that my parents raised 4 demons, I know my dumb brothers love me (and they would hate me for saying that and deny it until they are dead).
I know they love me because of this...


A few days before my trip was over I finally got the courage to venture out to see where Max was buried. I didn't think I was going to cry but when I saw the rocks placed the way they were it made me think about the brothers that dug the hole and buried Max and the brother that went outside and swept off snow from the rocks when I got to town so that I could go see it.

I got choked up thinking about Max but the thing that hit me the most was thinking about the people that took me into account to make sure that he had a proper burial, even if all it did was give them more jokes like saying "it's Max's head" as I go to open a Christmas present.

Community

If you have ever seen Community, you have a pretty good idea on what I'm going to endure every Tuesday and Thursday.

Yesterday, we were taught how to add and subtract negative numbers. I know it's a weird concept but it took the full hour of class and about 400 - -300 examples for the class to wrap their heads around it. I'm not making fun, because it just so happens that I didn't manage to test out of this class.

In English a (50+ yr old) guy used the word punctuality rather than punctuation. He was entirely bewildered when my teacher said with a furrowed brow and squinted eyes.. "I.....don't think you mean being on time, do you?". He just looked at her like what in the world are you talking about?

Awkward.

Men.

Marilyn Monroe once said,
"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it".
I miss her.

Once upon a time I was dating someone. I liked him overall but there were a few issues that had come up that I couldn't shake. In the dating world we all know that the smallest of things are the biggest of deal breakers.

I knew that he wasn't exactly a "man's man" but I did pull the whole "damsel in distress" card on him and asked him to help me change a tire (I promise I could have done it myself, considering the number of tires in my life that I've had go flat..but I was on my way too church so I wasn't dressed for the occasion). I wasn't surprised he jumped at the opportunity to help but it became clear that cars weren't his area of expertise. I stood there entirely dumbfounded and almost told him that I could do it on my own in my heels and skirt.

It didn't help his case about an hour later as one of our friends came over and started talking about guns. I don't really know much about guns but I have been around enough male figures in my life to understand at least the terminology. Apparently he has not.

This was all taking place just days after I had seen one of my dear old friends and he picked me up in his truck and we drove around listening to country music and making fun of everything in life. He then took me to his house where his dad was wearing a flannel coat and a camo shirt. And as we were leaving his house we saw deer and he had to call his dad to let him know. THAT is what I'm talking about.

I don't mean to be so hard on the guy I was dating. He was one of the nicest guys I have ever been out with. But when you have scruff, I want it to be because you just don't care to shave. Not that you meticulously shaved your beard perfectly because you once overheard me say that I like facial hair.

I could be writing this out simply so I can justify, somewhere outside of my brain, the fact that I put the kabosh on yet another relationship. Or it could be that I'm too picky to function. Or maybe I just want someone that doesn't apologize after the one time he ever said something sarcastic...have you met me? OR it really could be that chivalry is not what has died, manliness has and I am holding on to what little hope I have left that, that statement, cannot possibly be true.