Secret Life of the American Teenager started off as a very typical ABC Family show. By typical, I mean slightly bad acting and some serious life lessons we will all take to heart. It's a show about a 15 year old (maybe she was 14 at the time) girl that gets pregnant. You obviously expect the show to be about the hard life of being a teen mom and why you should do everything to prevent that. Which it does, but really, I'd prefer my teenage daughter watch Grey's Anatomy. At least if they are watching a show that has a lot of sex they A. are adults in the show and B. it's much better acting.
I got sucked into the show about half way through the first season. It was some cheesy show created by the same person that does 7th Heaven. Seriously, innocent, right? I thought so. Some teenage girl gets knocked up and has this debate of whether or not to keep the baby. For the sake of having a show, she obviously keeps it. The show continues, slowly but surely, about her sad teenage mom life.
But wait, it isn't sad. The dead beat baby daddy (Ricky) turns around and gets a job to support his son. The mom (Amy) gets a job at the church nursery..conveniently. Her parents get a divorce but her mom is pregnant with her dad's baby so obviously they are slowly falling back into love. Oh and oh so Christian Grace has sex and her dad dies because of it (and by dies I mean he was embarrassed to be on the show so he quit immediately). There are various other actors like Amy's sister Ashley whose best friend is gay because you can't have a show without without someone being gay-thanks for sticking with what's PC, ABC Fam.
That's a hunch of what I have been watching for an hour every Monday night. This show is progressively getting more and more morally...wrong. They always try to get their line in for the teenagers watching like "just because your parents don't talk to you about sex, doesn't mean they don't care" or "Follow your dreams, don't make a decision based off of what your boyfriend thinks you should do". Those are fine. However, let me explain to you what the last episode's punch was.
"Just say Me" rather than "Just say No". I'm going to let you figure out for yourself what that means. Maybe to you it means something different than what the ten girls in the show took it as. See Grace's mom told her that instead of needing a boyfriend for sex there is an alternative way. A way that "lower's blood pressure, relaxes you, and you cannot get an STD or pregnant". I almost threw up on the tv. That was the.entire.episode. I'm really thankful they got the part in there about religion. It went something along these lines: "Yes, we are Christian but we don't follow all the rules, most Christians don't. What matters is that we are good people".
From what I have gathered with this show the lessons to be learned are the following: Sex before marriage is fine-as long as you are not a devout Christian-otherwise your dad will die in a plane crash. 15 year old's cannot abstain. Parents cheating is fine as long as they are honest. And really as long as other people are doing it-it's perfectly fine-whatever it is.
In the mean time, I would advise anyone with teenage daughters to just skip to Desperate Housewives. At least they have consequences for their actions, the religious ones feel guilt rather than justify, and the actors don't look like Bob Saget just fell out of a 1980's TV screen.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Valiant Effort
A few Sundays ago I was invited to go to one of my friends birthday party. He is the kind of person that throws out of control bashes, not simple dinners. I was really hesitant until he pulled the "it's 2010, you were lame last year...you can't be this year too". So, I swallowed every ounce of dignity and I went to this party.
My definition of a party: eating paradise pie from chili's.
This persons definition of a party: inviting 100+ people to a huge house and having a band play. Did I say people? I meant to say strangers.
About an hour into it I noticed a few familiar faces here and there..like my real live Edward that used to work out at my work, a hot volleyball coach from my work, and my brother in laws crazy friend that I have never seen in anything but just overalls at the white trash party.
Getting to the point, in the couple of hours that I was at this party I managed to get asked the same questions 18 times. Where are you from? Where do you work? Where do you live? How do you know who lives here? Are you going to school? What do you want to be? What is your phone number? You live with your sister? How do you like that? Want to come to another party? And then I do the same thing in return-only instead of inviting them to a party I'm like hey...you want to come over and see how cute my nephew is?
So, I left the party feeling pretty good and well socialized. I have since hung out with two of the above mentioned young males and the only thing I have learned thus far is, I will never go to another party. I do not like getting asked the same questions and I do not like recieving the same results of hang outs-congratulations-you have a tv big enough to cause me a headache, choosing Marley and Me to watch doesn't really win you points since you're the 5th person to do this, and your jeans are worth more than my entire tax return.
Needless to say, I put forth my effort to socialize and I found a purpose for attempting to look cute for a day. Now I think I should go back into my routine of what really matters and sit and wait until the one person I want to ask me out-actually does. No effort needed.
My definition of a party: eating paradise pie from chili's.
This persons definition of a party: inviting 100+ people to a huge house and having a band play. Did I say people? I meant to say strangers.
About an hour into it I noticed a few familiar faces here and there..like my real live Edward that used to work out at my work, a hot volleyball coach from my work, and my brother in laws crazy friend that I have never seen in anything but just overalls at the white trash party.
Getting to the point, in the couple of hours that I was at this party I managed to get asked the same questions 18 times. Where are you from? Where do you work? Where do you live? How do you know who lives here? Are you going to school? What do you want to be? What is your phone number? You live with your sister? How do you like that? Want to come to another party? And then I do the same thing in return-only instead of inviting them to a party I'm like hey...you want to come over and see how cute my nephew is?
So, I left the party feeling pretty good and well socialized. I have since hung out with two of the above mentioned young males and the only thing I have learned thus far is, I will never go to another party. I do not like getting asked the same questions and I do not like recieving the same results of hang outs-congratulations-you have a tv big enough to cause me a headache, choosing Marley and Me to watch doesn't really win you points since you're the 5th person to do this, and your jeans are worth more than my entire tax return.
Needless to say, I put forth my effort to socialize and I found a purpose for attempting to look cute for a day. Now I think I should go back into my routine of what really matters and sit and wait until the one person I want to ask me out-actually does. No effort needed.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Point A to Point B
I started off the decade with me and Megan awake, in a room full of sleeping people just hours after returning from our family trip to Hawaii. I end the decade sitting in a room with a sleeping Megan and Cory watching some military show. Just like everywhere else I go, I have no idea how I got here.
The good news is that I can look back on the last ten years and know that I lived them well.
I experienced my first, and only, surgery by getting my tonsils out. Highlight of my pre teen years.
I discovered that I live for thrills like roller coasters and white water rapids.
I went to Nauvoo, Kirtland, and Palmyra. And I went on trek. Church history buff.
I moved from Utah to Wisconsin and then back to Utah..the last one being the absolute most split decision of my life.
Half way through this decade my family went from your typical 6 kids and a dog (sometimes 2) to a missionary, a broken engagement, someone with a drug addiction, family income loss, two little boys never leaving the front yard baseball/football field, and a move across the country. It was a sight, I'm sure, to watch 8 people, 2 dogs, and a toad pack up their last 9 years of memories and drive away to a world they had nothing in common with.
At the end of this decade thankfully there are still 6 kids. And still the same dog as there was in the beginning. Our family went from holding on to a thread of faith and prayers to having a law student with a third boy on the way, a marriage with a baby, a soldier with a convert wife that he baptized, and a few new killer jobs for the parents, and two boys still living and breathing sports. Everybody has grown up and their is nothing I love more than going home and sitting in a circle with my family in my parents family room in Wisconsin.
My dad asked if all these years have been a lie. I nod my head wondering the same thing.
How the heck we ended up in Wisconsin is beyond me. How I ended up back in Utah is even farther beyond that.
I've killed 3 out of 4 cars, had 5 different dogs, and have kissed every boy I have ever met. I managed to get a baby to seriously love me, that's a step up from the family I would babysit who would take their baby with them...only when I babysat. I lost my best friend of 9 years to the world and couldn't convince the only person I ever wanted a relationship with to come to a very complex, yet simple, realization.
I have learned that it is near impossible for me to let anything go but the most simple thing in the world, to me, is moving on.
I have learned there is no right or wrong (not like that). There is happy and there is disappointed.
I have learned that regardless of who you are, you are an equal to anyone else. Someone might be smarter but you are stronger. Someone might be more poor but they are more funny. Someone might drive a nice car but you have a new baby. You could be teaching English while a kid is teaching you patience. We are all here trying to get to the same place, and we all have our weaknesses and strengths. Nobody lacks either one of those.
I have learned that the only difference between me and anyone else is that I am in control of me. And once that realization came to pass it was an odd sensation. My heart thawed a little bit and all of the sudden I did things for other peoples benefit-rather than just trying to impress them.
I'm not sure if 2009 deserves a standing ovation or the middle finger. I can't think of a worse year that could pull off being the best year of my life. I'm 21 with literally zero direction. This next year could give me anything. This year I want to go volunteer abroad, be a nanny, go back to school for journalism, and like someone that is legitimate. None of those or some of those could happen. Who the heck knows?
It is 8 minutes shy of 2010 and I just topped off a bottle of sparkling cider and, once again, I am the only one awake..only this time I don't have a video camera to focus on the person snoring the loudest.
Here's to the new year. I'm so excited.
The good news is that I can look back on the last ten years and know that I lived them well.
I experienced my first, and only, surgery by getting my tonsils out. Highlight of my pre teen years.
I discovered that I live for thrills like roller coasters and white water rapids.
I went to Nauvoo, Kirtland, and Palmyra. And I went on trek. Church history buff.
I moved from Utah to Wisconsin and then back to Utah..the last one being the absolute most split decision of my life.
Half way through this decade my family went from your typical 6 kids and a dog (sometimes 2) to a missionary, a broken engagement, someone with a drug addiction, family income loss, two little boys never leaving the front yard baseball/football field, and a move across the country. It was a sight, I'm sure, to watch 8 people, 2 dogs, and a toad pack up their last 9 years of memories and drive away to a world they had nothing in common with.
At the end of this decade thankfully there are still 6 kids. And still the same dog as there was in the beginning. Our family went from holding on to a thread of faith and prayers to having a law student with a third boy on the way, a marriage with a baby, a soldier with a convert wife that he baptized, and a few new killer jobs for the parents, and two boys still living and breathing sports. Everybody has grown up and their is nothing I love more than going home and sitting in a circle with my family in my parents family room in Wisconsin.
My dad asked if all these years have been a lie. I nod my head wondering the same thing.
How the heck we ended up in Wisconsin is beyond me. How I ended up back in Utah is even farther beyond that.
I've killed 3 out of 4 cars, had 5 different dogs, and have kissed every boy I have ever met. I managed to get a baby to seriously love me, that's a step up from the family I would babysit who would take their baby with them...only when I babysat. I lost my best friend of 9 years to the world and couldn't convince the only person I ever wanted a relationship with to come to a very complex, yet simple, realization.
I have learned that it is near impossible for me to let anything go but the most simple thing in the world, to me, is moving on.
I have learned there is no right or wrong (not like that). There is happy and there is disappointed.
I have learned that regardless of who you are, you are an equal to anyone else. Someone might be smarter but you are stronger. Someone might be more poor but they are more funny. Someone might drive a nice car but you have a new baby. You could be teaching English while a kid is teaching you patience. We are all here trying to get to the same place, and we all have our weaknesses and strengths. Nobody lacks either one of those.
I have learned that the only difference between me and anyone else is that I am in control of me. And once that realization came to pass it was an odd sensation. My heart thawed a little bit and all of the sudden I did things for other peoples benefit-rather than just trying to impress them.
I'm not sure if 2009 deserves a standing ovation or the middle finger. I can't think of a worse year that could pull off being the best year of my life. I'm 21 with literally zero direction. This next year could give me anything. This year I want to go volunteer abroad, be a nanny, go back to school for journalism, and like someone that is legitimate. None of those or some of those could happen. Who the heck knows?
It is 8 minutes shy of 2010 and I just topped off a bottle of sparkling cider and, once again, I am the only one awake..only this time I don't have a video camera to focus on the person snoring the loudest.
Here's to the new year. I'm so excited.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Hey, Alf..
"'tis better have loved, and lost, than never to have loved at all"
I am calling your bluff.
I am calling your bluff.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
You've got 30 minutes
Sunday at church I sat myself in the third row back and about three people's width in. I was sitting by no one. When this kid Adam came in and sat by me...only about two feet away because any closer would have been like he did it intentionally. Adam is the heart throb of the ward, or the silver fox, if you will.
Adam has pretended not to know me in the past so I simply smiled and acted as though we had crossed paths for the first time. I gave him the no teeth smile and head nod.
Priesthood and Relief Society were combined that day in the chapel so I sat in that spot for the whole three hours, Adam left me during Sunday School to go sit in the back row, which caused great concern in my mind. Then came back and sat by me for the last hour. He even offered me his suit coat as he could see I was going into a state of hypothermia. I then thought that maybe we could have a friendship after all. I gave him his coat back at the end and he asked if it kept me warm, I said yes. He said, good because he had been freezing the whole hour.
So, the "lesson" we had during the last block was the bishopric all sat up front and answered questions that people had written and put in a basket during the last few weeks. Being a singles ward, I wouldn't have expected anything more deep than "is it ok for girls to ask guys out?". I think after an hour of being taught how to find our eternal companion, Adam felt a deep obligation to ask any random girl on a date.
We chatted briefly about work, learned that we both are slightly anti-social, and he has a cat. We then proceeded to walk outside where he asked what my work schedule was like. I told him that I worked late every night except for Tuesdays and Fridays I only work until 8. The conversation then went like this:
Him: Ok so after 8 on Tuesday we'll go get ice cream.
Me: (was that a statement?) I have tithing settlement at 8:30 so after that...
Him: I'll go sign up for a time then we can just meet here. See ya.
Me (in an awful state of bewilderment): Ok......
So Adam then goes inside where James asks him if he did the deed. Adam asks James if he saw him pull out his phone, James says no. Adam says then there's your answer.
What the.
I get to the church on Tuesday and when I'm done with settlement, I walk out of the bishops office, relieved to see Adam still there due to the fact that I wasn't sure if Sunday had really happened or not. I then stand there awkwardly waiting for Adam to show any indication that we are actually going to go out. He stands up says "see ya" to James and the bishop and starts walking away. Or, sprinting, if you will. I took that as my cue and scurried along after him. He then asked if I wanted hot chocolate or Ice cream, this was the only point during the last two days that I actually knew we were indeed going to go somewhere together.
We went to Starbucks and got hot chocolate around 8:45. James texted me at 9 saying that if we aren't done too late to see if he was still at the church and tell him how it went. By 9:15 I was back at the church. When I was getting out of Adam's car he asked for a side hug, since we were still in the car, told me thank you, and said he will see me in a few weeks at church.
He gave me no expectations for any sort of date....or errand....in the future. Yet, I feel no sense of rejection. I think I just got out gamed.
Adam has pretended not to know me in the past so I simply smiled and acted as though we had crossed paths for the first time. I gave him the no teeth smile and head nod.
Priesthood and Relief Society were combined that day in the chapel so I sat in that spot for the whole three hours, Adam left me during Sunday School to go sit in the back row, which caused great concern in my mind. Then came back and sat by me for the last hour. He even offered me his suit coat as he could see I was going into a state of hypothermia. I then thought that maybe we could have a friendship after all. I gave him his coat back at the end and he asked if it kept me warm, I said yes. He said, good because he had been freezing the whole hour.
So, the "lesson" we had during the last block was the bishopric all sat up front and answered questions that people had written and put in a basket during the last few weeks. Being a singles ward, I wouldn't have expected anything more deep than "is it ok for girls to ask guys out?". I think after an hour of being taught how to find our eternal companion, Adam felt a deep obligation to ask any random girl on a date.
We chatted briefly about work, learned that we both are slightly anti-social, and he has a cat. We then proceeded to walk outside where he asked what my work schedule was like. I told him that I worked late every night except for Tuesdays and Fridays I only work until 8. The conversation then went like this:
Him: Ok so after 8 on Tuesday we'll go get ice cream.
Me: (was that a statement?) I have tithing settlement at 8:30 so after that...
Him: I'll go sign up for a time then we can just meet here. See ya.
Me (in an awful state of bewilderment): Ok......
So Adam then goes inside where James asks him if he did the deed. Adam asks James if he saw him pull out his phone, James says no. Adam says then there's your answer.
What the.
I get to the church on Tuesday and when I'm done with settlement, I walk out of the bishops office, relieved to see Adam still there due to the fact that I wasn't sure if Sunday had really happened or not. I then stand there awkwardly waiting for Adam to show any indication that we are actually going to go out. He stands up says "see ya" to James and the bishop and starts walking away. Or, sprinting, if you will. I took that as my cue and scurried along after him. He then asked if I wanted hot chocolate or Ice cream, this was the only point during the last two days that I actually knew we were indeed going to go somewhere together.
We went to Starbucks and got hot chocolate around 8:45. James texted me at 9 saying that if we aren't done too late to see if he was still at the church and tell him how it went. By 9:15 I was back at the church. When I was getting out of Adam's car he asked for a side hug, since we were still in the car, told me thank you, and said he will see me in a few weeks at church.
He gave me no expectations for any sort of date....or errand....in the future. Yet, I feel no sense of rejection. I think I just got out gamed.
Friday, October 30, 2009
A day late but still great
A little over a year and nine months ago my sister called me into the bathroom at work. She showed me something that I didn't know was going to change my life, not just hers. It was a positive pregnancy test. I was so happy for Megan and so excited to find out more about the little baby inside of her.
I remember hoping for a niece, but once they found out it was a boy I had the perfect image of a little dark, curly haired, boy. Little did I know.
On October 29th, 2008 my sister called me and told me she was at the hospital. I went there as soon as I could. The feeling I had sitting inside that hospital room was one that I hadn't felt in a long time-peace. I had been going to school and working full time so my life wasn't very based on sitting and feeling peace. I sat in that room for a few hours and we talked about Lucas and about life before earth and how he was taking so long because he had to say goodbye to everyone up there. FINALLY Luke decided to grace us with his presence, a week late and emergency c-section later. I left work and went to the hospital as soon as I could to meet him, I was his first visitor.
I never knew how much love parents really have for their children, because I love Luke like crazy...and I'm only the aunt. Megan and I talked about it the other day and out of the year he has been born I have not seen him for a total of MAYBE four weeks. I can't stand being away from him, and I can't even imagine 1/8th of the love that Megan and Cory have for him. I know that he's never going to feel unloved because of how many people he has surrounding him everyday that love him unconditionally and people that can't see him everyday itch to see him.
That blonde hair- blue eyed baby is the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. He has taught me patience and love deeper than I knew existed. He always makes me laugh and he loves me back. He is always excited to see me and laughs at everything I do. I never really liked babies but Luke made me a total softy. I just love that little guy.
Happy birthday Lucas. I'm so excited to see what this next year brings, thank you so much for choosing my sister and very best friend to be your mom...so that I can have you in my life.
I remember hoping for a niece, but once they found out it was a boy I had the perfect image of a little dark, curly haired, boy. Little did I know.
On October 29th, 2008 my sister called me and told me she was at the hospital. I went there as soon as I could. The feeling I had sitting inside that hospital room was one that I hadn't felt in a long time-peace. I had been going to school and working full time so my life wasn't very based on sitting and feeling peace. I sat in that room for a few hours and we talked about Lucas and about life before earth and how he was taking so long because he had to say goodbye to everyone up there. FINALLY Luke decided to grace us with his presence, a week late and emergency c-section later. I left work and went to the hospital as soon as I could to meet him, I was his first visitor.
I never knew how much love parents really have for their children, because I love Luke like crazy...and I'm only the aunt. Megan and I talked about it the other day and out of the year he has been born I have not seen him for a total of MAYBE four weeks. I can't stand being away from him, and I can't even imagine 1/8th of the love that Megan and Cory have for him. I know that he's never going to feel unloved because of how many people he has surrounding him everyday that love him unconditionally and people that can't see him everyday itch to see him.
That blonde hair- blue eyed baby is the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. He has taught me patience and love deeper than I knew existed. He always makes me laugh and he loves me back. He is always excited to see me and laughs at everything I do. I never really liked babies but Luke made me a total softy. I just love that little guy.
Happy birthday Lucas. I'm so excited to see what this next year brings, thank you so much for choosing my sister and very best friend to be your mom...so that I can have you in my life.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Hold On
I have always been incredibly afraid of the dark. When I was little I would surround myself with stuffed animals so that they would protect me from bad guys. I once had a motion censor dog by my door so that I would be forewarned. I was seriously convinced someone was going to get me.
When I was in 7th grade there was one night where I was particularly afraid. I could not go to sleep and was convinced that, that, was the night that I would be kidnapped. I did the only thing I could think to do, I knelt down and poured my heart out in prayer.
I prayed that night to know that I would be protected from any harm or evil and that I would be able to be given a sign to know that I was going to be safe that night, and every other night. Immediately after my prayer Max (my dog) came in and slept next to me. I felt safe with him there and I fell asleep.
During that sleep I had a dream that I was being chased by someone wearing a scream mask. They chased me the entire way home from school. He would chase me into people's houses and I would have to hide in ovens because I thought that was the only place he wouldn't look. I was running all over the place trying to make it home safely without him finding me. Finally I took a run for it and he chased me right to my house.
When I opened the door, my whole family was in there yelling for me to hurry and hold on. They were standing in our dining room holding onto an iron rod. I remember all of them yelling "hurry, hurry, hold on to the rod!" and "if you grab the rod you will be safe!". I grabbed onto the rod and a scripture appeared on the rod that stated something regarding how I was now safe (I wish I knew which scripture it was....). The bad guy was gone for good.
I woke up the next morning feeling better than I ever remember feeling. I still was afraid of the dark but from that day forward I would pray or read my scriptures the nights when I couldn't sleep and that always calmed me down.
Anytime that I feel like something is burdening me or, quite honestly, when I am just scared that someone is following me, I immediately think to hold to the rod. This dream has helped me realize for years that without the gospel in my life, I would be wondering around scared, hiding, not knowing what to do. I am so grateful that when I was 12 I had the faith that saying a prayer would help me so that now, at 20, I can think back on that night and have that overwhelming amount of peace and faith all over again. I'm so grateful that a boy at 14 had the faith to say a prayer so that, I can, at age 20, have the feeling of peace and faith over and over again.
Our prayers are always answered, whether it's a vivid dream or a subtle feeling and I know that not one of us has any need to fear, as long as we hold on to the rod.
When I was in 7th grade there was one night where I was particularly afraid. I could not go to sleep and was convinced that, that, was the night that I would be kidnapped. I did the only thing I could think to do, I knelt down and poured my heart out in prayer.
I prayed that night to know that I would be protected from any harm or evil and that I would be able to be given a sign to know that I was going to be safe that night, and every other night. Immediately after my prayer Max (my dog) came in and slept next to me. I felt safe with him there and I fell asleep.
During that sleep I had a dream that I was being chased by someone wearing a scream mask. They chased me the entire way home from school. He would chase me into people's houses and I would have to hide in ovens because I thought that was the only place he wouldn't look. I was running all over the place trying to make it home safely without him finding me. Finally I took a run for it and he chased me right to my house.
When I opened the door, my whole family was in there yelling for me to hurry and hold on. They were standing in our dining room holding onto an iron rod. I remember all of them yelling "hurry, hurry, hold on to the rod!" and "if you grab the rod you will be safe!". I grabbed onto the rod and a scripture appeared on the rod that stated something regarding how I was now safe (I wish I knew which scripture it was....). The bad guy was gone for good.
I woke up the next morning feeling better than I ever remember feeling. I still was afraid of the dark but from that day forward I would pray or read my scriptures the nights when I couldn't sleep and that always calmed me down.
Anytime that I feel like something is burdening me or, quite honestly, when I am just scared that someone is following me, I immediately think to hold to the rod. This dream has helped me realize for years that without the gospel in my life, I would be wondering around scared, hiding, not knowing what to do. I am so grateful that when I was 12 I had the faith that saying a prayer would help me so that now, at 20, I can think back on that night and have that overwhelming amount of peace and faith all over again. I'm so grateful that a boy at 14 had the faith to say a prayer so that, I can, at age 20, have the feeling of peace and faith over and over again.
Our prayers are always answered, whether it's a vivid dream or a subtle feeling and I know that not one of us has any need to fear, as long as we hold on to the rod.
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