I have met my match

I am waiving my "no gushing" clause for the next few minutes. Please bare with me.

I could name a million reasons as to why I am so lucky to have ever met Jesse, I don't even know where to start. Our relationship is hard to explain because I don't know how to talk about how perfect it is without sounding like I'm exaggerating. I know there aren't soul mates in the world but I also know that he is the best possible man I could have ever met. He brought everything to the table that I ever could have asked for in a guy.

I remember thinking about Jesse after our first few dates and getting very frustrated because I couldn't tell what the feelings were that I had. It was a feeling where I could look at him and never find fault and I could talk to him and never find anything annoying about the conversation or wish that I was having the conversation with someone else. I just loved his presence and the way I felt when he would drop me off at home, it was like part of me slowly began feeling complete and the time we spent together was so...wholesome.

I fell in love with all the dumb little things and it was all part of the process of falling in love with him completely; like when I first saw his tattoos at a church ball game and when we went and played a game of horse at my work after we made dinner together. I remember the first time we met and he started scratching my back and I told him he was my new best friend but what I wanted to say was "please marry me"....but it was a little soon. I look back to the very beginning and I think about how precisely everything happened and how it had to happen that way in order for us to be where we are today.

Jesse had to have had a script on how to date me. Everything we did was on his terms and his agenda but he still somehow made it all about me and made me feel like I was the only person that mattered. I know that is something he will do throughout our entire life and it is one of the things I love the most about him, that things will be on his terms and I am along for the ride as his support system and there is never a point in time where I will go unloved or unheard. The best way he put it was when he said that he is the boss, but I am Mrs. boss.

I am so grateful to have Jesse in my life. I am grateful for the times where we have laughed our butts off over something that happened at 1 in the morning and we were so tired that it truly is the funniest thing or when he doesn't know how to book a flight correctly..and he does not think it is as funny as I do but he still lets me laugh anyway. I am so grateful for the cards he randomly sends me and for the time we went to the temple and just sat outside of it while we talked about the day we get to go inside of it. I am grateful for his testimony and that he is the one to take me to the temple. I am grateful that he has all the backbone in the world and that he is strong and when he makes a decision he doesn't change his mind. I am grateful that he made the decision to ask me on a date 5 1/2 months ago and that he made the decision to let it progress and asked me to marry him a week ago.

(not his baby ps)

I am grateful for everything that he has done in his life that led him to where he is and made him the person that I would fall totally and completely in love with.

......there is a pulse

Summer so far summer has been nothing short of awesome. I know that only three people read this but I do feel like I have a little bit betrayed my blends.

Last week I was able to make a last minute trip out to Canada to see my mom's side of the family. It was great to spend time with my cousins (mainly just Kiki and Rob). In the town that my mom grew up in they always do a parade on the 1st of July (Canada's independance day) and then have a rodeo. Before the rodeo there is always a family barbecue and I wish I had snapped some photos of that just you could be more entertained. On our way back from Canada Tyler, Katy, Reagan, and I took the scenic route and went to Mt. Rushmore and bear country. Anyway, summer has been amazing so far but none of my pictures are sending (and my sister never sent me the other ones ehem) so this blog just became 85% less exciting that I had anticipated.


In the mean time I am going to pick up my beloved from the airport. Stay tuned for the next post...I have anxious butterflies just thinking about it, really.

Magus.

I am very lucky to have the sister that I have. Especially over the last 4 years.

Growing up I had no idea that the girl I shared a room with for the first 10 years and that would influence my brothers to duct tape my stuffed animals to the banister and what not...was actually the same girl that was going to turn into my best friend.

I remember when she was around 19 and 20 and would talk about her dating life and I always thought she was so lucky to be dating so much and when she met Cory I remember the excitement of knowing they were getting engaged and always wanting to be able to be in her shoes. I wanted to be like her and live the fun life that she had. She taught me things she didn't realize she was teaching me when I was still in high school and she was on the other side of the country.

It was when she was 22 and I was 18 that I finally was able to learn first hand the great person that my sister really was. I'll never forget the day we got stranded in Nebraska and Cory had to come to our rescue. We sat in this giant truck (full of the wrong gas) for seven hours and we listened to the song Brat Pack probably a total of 4 of those hours. I was so excited about the move and the friendship that I had developed with my sister. I had no idea that the friendship was only going to get better.

We have gone through so many separate life changing experiences together. I don't think Meg will ever realize the impact that the last 3 and a half years have had on me and how detrimental the last 2 have been.

When I first moved in with her and Cory my life was a bit of a disaster and over these last two years not only have I learned how to remain calm in all situations and how to be patient in literally any and all situations but I learned a great deal of love. As I have watched their marriage grow and seen the way Megan has so much patience with Luke I can only hope to be half the mother and wife that she is.

Meg-I know that this last month or so I have been off in la la land and completely concentrated on my life and what's next but I hope you know that this is the time that I need you the most even if it doesn't feel like it. I need to know your opinion on things that don't really matter like what colors go well together and in a few months I will really really need your help with knowing how to decorate an apartment. And the days when I am about to have a melt down from feeling stressed out I need you to pick up your phone and tell me what to do. Because you always know what to say.

I am so thankful to have you in my life. You have changed me more than anyone else in the world. You have made me realize how to not sweat the small stuff and that it is ok to cry while watching Oprah. You really are my best friend and the greatest sister on the planet. You will always be the person that I go to in time of crisis and for advice when I feel like life is too much, because you have a way of calming me down and encouraging me to keep my head on straight.

I love you sis and I am going to miss this life so much. Thank you so much for everything from making dinners to doing my laundry to introducing me to Luke. Don't let Jared replace me-please, he totally can't sing or dance the way we can.

What love is made of

One box of oreos

One block of cream cheese

One bag of melted (milk, semi sweet, or white) chocolate chips.



Seriously. Better than...any fulfillment you can get from anything else in the world.

How it works.

I am not sure how this stuff really works but I will tell you how it worked for this particular girl and boy.

Back in December this guy moved into an area where a girl, unknowingly, awaited his arrival. The guy wasn't supposed to move until April but he was determined to get there right away. Poor kid had no idea what was coming. The girl was really curious about this guy because he was roommates with a few of her good acquaintances and yet he never spoke to her. She figured he was intimidated.

The two of them finally talked and the guy wasted no time asking her on a date. The date was perfect...I mean like VIP tickets to a Jazz game perfect (and he didn't actually have to pay for them. Lucky ba.....boy) and they both left feeling good but unsure about the other person. Dates every other week or so followed along with brief conversations throughout the week here and there. They continued living their separate lives but once in a while allowed each other to experience a little piece of the other.

Toward the end of March the girl was really sure about what she wanted out of the next few months but none of it was working out and the boy was not included, the game was going on for too long and she didn't see that stopping so she quit playing. But after everything was not working out she got some counsel and was determined that she really does need to date this kid regardless of if he likes her or not. They will date.

So she told him they were going to go on a date that weekend. This girl is notorious for thinking she likes someone and then really not....so she was nervous that it was going to happen again. But it didn't, she seemed to like him more than ever. Crap.

Boy kisses girl. They talk more often and see each other more often....and then they don't.
The girl quits again and decides in about 5 minutes that she is done and tells the boy she is leaving for the summer.

The guy played it off pretty cool but apparently he was not happy about it. I guess he liked the girl more than he was willing to let off. Then the girl throws in another threat...she isn't coming back unless there is a lot of incentive (she is either really brilliant or really dumb and was potentially going to be stuck in the Midwest for a while, out of sheer stubborness). But that little bit is what got the ball rolling and before you know it the two of them are planning a future. A very good, permanent, future.


I'm curious to see if threats like this work on all boys....I might have to try this girls technique one day.

If I wasn't already smitten, I would be smitten.

Carpe Diem

"Don't get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life"

-Dolly Parton



In less than 4 weeks I will no longer have a job. I will move and I don't know where my next job will be. In 6 years there has not been a period in my life where I went without a job and where my job did not take precedence over just about everything else. I have been stable in my jobs and always enjoyed them. Two weeks ago when I stood in the giant building that I have spent more time in than out of, I turned off all the lights to close up and I stood there and looked at the giant building and thought I would feel sad or relieved that I am almost out. But I didn't. I stood there trying to feel anything and I couldn't. I felt nothing and that is when I knew that it is time for me to leave.

I have no idea where I will work next. I literally have no idea what happens next. I'm just going and all I know is that where I am going there is a lot of open land, a pool, and baseball.
The rest doesn't matter. And I am so happy about it.