A little over a year and nine months ago my sister called me into the bathroom at work. She showed me something that I didn't know was going to change my life, not just hers. It was a positive pregnancy test. I was so happy for Megan and so excited to find out more about the little baby inside of her.
I remember hoping for a niece, but once they found out it was a boy I had the perfect image of a little dark, curly haired, boy. Little did I know.
On October 29th, 2008 my sister called me and told me she was at the hospital. I went there as soon as I could. The feeling I had sitting inside that hospital room was one that I hadn't felt in a long time-peace. I had been going to school and working full time so my life wasn't very based on sitting and feeling peace. I sat in that room for a few hours and we talked about Lucas and about life before earth and how he was taking so long because he had to say goodbye to everyone up there. FINALLY Luke decided to grace us with his presence, a week late and emergency c-section later. I left work and went to the hospital as soon as I could to meet him, I was his first visitor.
I never knew how much love parents really have for their children, because I love Luke like crazy...and I'm only the aunt. Megan and I talked about it the other day and out of the year he has been born I have not seen him for a total of MAYBE four weeks. I can't stand being away from him, and I can't even imagine 1/8th of the love that Megan and Cory have for him. I know that he's never going to feel unloved because of how many people he has surrounding him everyday that love him unconditionally and people that can't see him everyday itch to see him.
That blonde hair- blue eyed baby is the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. He has taught me patience and love deeper than I knew existed. He always makes me laugh and he loves me back. He is always excited to see me and laughs at everything I do. I never really liked babies but Luke made me a total softy. I just love that little guy.
Happy birthday Lucas. I'm so excited to see what this next year brings, thank you so much for choosing my sister and very best friend to be your mom...so that I can have you in my life.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Hold On
I have always been incredibly afraid of the dark. When I was little I would surround myself with stuffed animals so that they would protect me from bad guys. I once had a motion censor dog by my door so that I would be forewarned. I was seriously convinced someone was going to get me.
When I was in 7th grade there was one night where I was particularly afraid. I could not go to sleep and was convinced that, that, was the night that I would be kidnapped. I did the only thing I could think to do, I knelt down and poured my heart out in prayer.
I prayed that night to know that I would be protected from any harm or evil and that I would be able to be given a sign to know that I was going to be safe that night, and every other night. Immediately after my prayer Max (my dog) came in and slept next to me. I felt safe with him there and I fell asleep.
During that sleep I had a dream that I was being chased by someone wearing a scream mask. They chased me the entire way home from school. He would chase me into people's houses and I would have to hide in ovens because I thought that was the only place he wouldn't look. I was running all over the place trying to make it home safely without him finding me. Finally I took a run for it and he chased me right to my house.
When I opened the door, my whole family was in there yelling for me to hurry and hold on. They were standing in our dining room holding onto an iron rod. I remember all of them yelling "hurry, hurry, hold on to the rod!" and "if you grab the rod you will be safe!". I grabbed onto the rod and a scripture appeared on the rod that stated something regarding how I was now safe (I wish I knew which scripture it was....). The bad guy was gone for good.
I woke up the next morning feeling better than I ever remember feeling. I still was afraid of the dark but from that day forward I would pray or read my scriptures the nights when I couldn't sleep and that always calmed me down.
Anytime that I feel like something is burdening me or, quite honestly, when I am just scared that someone is following me, I immediately think to hold to the rod. This dream has helped me realize for years that without the gospel in my life, I would be wondering around scared, hiding, not knowing what to do. I am so grateful that when I was 12 I had the faith that saying a prayer would help me so that now, at 20, I can think back on that night and have that overwhelming amount of peace and faith all over again. I'm so grateful that a boy at 14 had the faith to say a prayer so that, I can, at age 20, have the feeling of peace and faith over and over again.
Our prayers are always answered, whether it's a vivid dream or a subtle feeling and I know that not one of us has any need to fear, as long as we hold on to the rod.
When I was in 7th grade there was one night where I was particularly afraid. I could not go to sleep and was convinced that, that, was the night that I would be kidnapped. I did the only thing I could think to do, I knelt down and poured my heart out in prayer.
I prayed that night to know that I would be protected from any harm or evil and that I would be able to be given a sign to know that I was going to be safe that night, and every other night. Immediately after my prayer Max (my dog) came in and slept next to me. I felt safe with him there and I fell asleep.
During that sleep I had a dream that I was being chased by someone wearing a scream mask. They chased me the entire way home from school. He would chase me into people's houses and I would have to hide in ovens because I thought that was the only place he wouldn't look. I was running all over the place trying to make it home safely without him finding me. Finally I took a run for it and he chased me right to my house.
When I opened the door, my whole family was in there yelling for me to hurry and hold on. They were standing in our dining room holding onto an iron rod. I remember all of them yelling "hurry, hurry, hold on to the rod!" and "if you grab the rod you will be safe!". I grabbed onto the rod and a scripture appeared on the rod that stated something regarding how I was now safe (I wish I knew which scripture it was....). The bad guy was gone for good.
I woke up the next morning feeling better than I ever remember feeling. I still was afraid of the dark but from that day forward I would pray or read my scriptures the nights when I couldn't sleep and that always calmed me down.
Anytime that I feel like something is burdening me or, quite honestly, when I am just scared that someone is following me, I immediately think to hold to the rod. This dream has helped me realize for years that without the gospel in my life, I would be wondering around scared, hiding, not knowing what to do. I am so grateful that when I was 12 I had the faith that saying a prayer would help me so that now, at 20, I can think back on that night and have that overwhelming amount of peace and faith all over again. I'm so grateful that a boy at 14 had the faith to say a prayer so that, I can, at age 20, have the feeling of peace and faith over and over again.
Our prayers are always answered, whether it's a vivid dream or a subtle feeling and I know that not one of us has any need to fear, as long as we hold on to the rod.
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