not optimistic, not pessimistic, but realistic.

Being a Christensen means that things do not go as planned....ever. I want to emphasize the DO NOT and EVER part. Anyway, me and megan were driving around yesterday and she said that her husband told her to start being more optimistic about things. So she tried that but being optimistic, led to a let down. I too have noticed that this happens anytime I decide to be optimistic about things, like anytime I try looking good for day, people don't talk to me..or if I study really hard for a test, I still can't get the questions right. But then, Megan pointed out that it's not that she is either optimistic or pessimistic, it's that she is realistic and I could not agree with her more. People always tag each other as one or the other..and people are constantly saying that I am a pessimist, or cynical. It kind of drives me crazy to be honest. I just have never had something actually work out the way I would love for it to work out. It either doesn't end up happening or goes absolutely, horribly, wrong. But I am not saying this out of negativity! I am saying this because it is only the truth! No matter what the circumstance, it could be something small, like picking to go to a different restaraunt than usual and either the food isn't good or the waiter sucks, to something big like deciding what the heck I should do with my life at a particular time. I don't know how to solve this problem except to continue living the way I do. I do everything that I need to be a good person, I try to make those around me happy, but I also know to be realistic about any given situation and to not get my hopes up that something is actually going to go as I would like it too. After almost 20 years I have come to terms with the fact that this is how life goes. This is how it went for my parents, this is how it goes for my siblings. But at least I'm not in it alone :)