Amber C

A Very Important Message

2011-11-17T13:42:00.000-08:00

I am no longer using this blog. It's still going to be here because I don't want to get rid of all the posts but there just will never be any new updates. I can't keep up with all this AND pinterest...ya know?

You can find us at jesseandamber11.blogspot.com (for some reason the link thing wasn't working so yes, you will have to physically type out that whole address...sorry :/)

I'm begging you to read it. Even though the posts won't be as cynical nor as humorous...still please read it.

Quote for the day

2011-11-04T12:49:00.000-07:00

“Look inside yourself.
You are more than what you have become.
Remember who you are.”

-Mufasa

Found in this article

I'm still here.

2011-10-26T11:53:00.001-07:00

It's obvious that I have no idea what I am doing...trying to manage two blogs means I suddenly just don't blog altogether. But neither does Megan so I guess it's just, whatever.

So, I got myself a pinterest account about three months ago and I just discovered what it even is about three weeks ago. This could explain why I no longer blog..or do the dishes. The humor section is down right now so...that's how I ended up here.

I guess I should specify that there is another reason I have stopped doing dishes: tupperware. My brother has been staying with us this month and between him and Jesse, the sink is always full of oatmeal caked tupperware. So over the last few weeks I have become completely numb to dishes and they now just hand wash their own. We do have a dishwasher, mind you, and today I realized that the dishes on the top shelf were clean and the ones on the bottom were dirty. I did nothing about it and told no one.

I also started a new job last Monday. It's been awesome. The other day my boss(es) were talking about dress codes and cracking jokes about how weird it would be to have one and wondering if you're even allowed to make people dress a certain way (this was brought up because they want me to get Boise State apparel and weren't sure if they could make it mandatory). I also feel the need to talk about how many times they have taken me to lunch and about the one time they took me to get lunch then we ate it in the "lounge" area..I dunno it's kinda like a family room? and we watched The Walking Dead. I think all employers could get some pointers from these guys. Work gets done too, it's totally crazy.

And lastly, Jesse made a deal with the devil and I'm not sure he realizes exactly what he committed to.

But it was real so...come next Spring (maybe early summer) we will have a new addition to our family...

He will be black and white and his name will be Tobi.

Interviews

2011-09-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been finding myself in many office buildings talking to people that are there watching and analyzing my every move.

The first interview (I havent had a real interview since 2005, mind you) I left feeling pretty inadequate and thinking "so that's how those things go", I knew I didn't get it but I didn't think it was THAT bad. It wasnt like, a horrible interview but I could have been much more prepared to answer the "about me" portion of it.

The next few were good but with the lack of phone calls back my self esteem has dwindled some.

But this last interview was the icing on the cake.

The first question (or phrase I guess..) was: So, tell me a little about yourself.

Ok. What do you want to know? How deep do I need to get into this? Because right now the things that I could tell are fairly obvious...I have brown hair...I'm 5'6...my car needs to be washed really bad? So I just settle for "well I just got married a few weeks ago". Usually that one opens up a conversation but apparently not with this guy.

On to the next question

How do you do with criticism?

I love it. I soak it in and change myself every time someone tells me that what I have done is incorrect. How do I honestly admit that it depends if I think they are right or not? Because some criticism is constructive and some is just not. So I just went with "if it's constructive then I do fine" but really I go home and dwell on it for the next 3 weeks.

What would you say is your biggest accomplishment?

Um...Well I hate to reiterate that I just got married. It's not that Im trying to bring this up over and over again but for now it kind of is my only accomplishment...between that and graduating high school 4 years ago. Should I throw in that it was in the temple? Because depending on your religion you could understand that it's an accomplishment.

What would you say is your biggest failure?

Uh...um...this interview? The skills test I took right before you brought me in here..the one asked me which shapes were different than the others because I still think it was a trick question?

Then he proceeds to tell me these two specific things:

There is a strict dress code. Violate the dress code three times and you will be terminated.

There is a strict rule of being on time. Be late three times and you will be terminated.

Awesome. I already know you aren't going to hire me...which is kind of a relief for both of us because it means you can't fire me later.

It has arrived

2011-08-22T19:51:00.001-07:00

jesseandamber11.blogspot.com Please enjoy. And read it.

Serious Question

2011-07-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

Recently my equally as good half happened to mention that I have a lot of posts on here that are along the lines of spring flings, theories that are lies, and a lot of other posts that made me wince a little when I read them (oh 2009, how I do not miss you).

So here is the debate- do I start a new blog, after I wed, that's more of an "us" blog and let this one go or do I keep this one and just revamp it?

I cannot decide and it is driving me crazy.

Multiple Personalities

2011-07-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

Out in the midwest (maybe not all the midwest..but maybe) it's challenging to find people that share the same....sense of humor as the rest of the world. I don't know how else to put that. It's not that they don't have one but it's that there's is only funny to them. So when you meet someone that totally gets you, it's awesome!

I am walking in the direction of a guy (probably 65+) at the gym-

guy: *whispers something*
Me: *look at guy*
guy: *looks back, sheepishly*...."sorry, sometimes I talk to myself...actually all the time..."
Me: "oh yeah, I do it all the time, too"
guy: *starts walking away then pauses and looks at me* "Ya know I really have the best conversations when I do! It's the best. And you never get in an argument!"

I love it when I can relate.

I have met my match

2011-07-16T07:04:00.000-07:00

I am waiving my "no gushing" clause for the next few minutes. Please bare with me.

I could name a million reasons as to why I am so lucky to have ever met Jesse, I don't even know where to start. Our relationship is hard to explain because I don't know how to talk about how perfect it is without sounding like I'm exaggerating. I know there aren't soul mates in the world but I also know that he is the best possible man I could have ever met. He brought everything to the table that I ever could have asked for in a guy.

I remember thinking about Jesse after our first few dates and getting very frustrated because I couldn't tell what the feelings were that I had. It was a feeling where I could look at him and never find fault and I could talk to him and never find anything annoying about the conversation or wish that I was having the conversation with someone else. I just loved his presence and the way I felt when he would drop me off at home, it was like part of me slowly began feeling complete and the time we spent together was so...wholesome.

I fell in love with all the dumb little things and it was all part of the process of falling in love with him completely; like when I first saw his tattoos at a church ball game and when we went and played a game of horse at my work after we made dinner together. I remember the first time we met and he started scratching my back and I told him he was my new best friend but what I wanted to say was "please marry me"....but it was a little soon. I look back to the very beginning and I think about how precisely everything happened and how it had to happen that way in order for us to be where we are today.

Jesse had to have had a script on how to date me. Everything we did was on his terms and his agenda but he still somehow made it all about me and made me feel like I was the only person that mattered. I know that is something he will do throughout our entire life and it is one of the things I love the most about him, that things will be on his terms and I am along for the ride as his support system and there is never a point in time where I will go unloved or unheard. The best way he put it was when he said that he is the boss, but I am Mrs. boss.

I am so grateful to have Jesse in my life. I am grateful for the times where we have laughed our butts off over something that happened at 1 in the morning and we were so tired that it truly is the funniest thing or when he doesn't know how to book a flight correctly..and he does not think it is as funny as I do but he still lets me laugh anyway. I am so grateful for the cards he randomly sends me and for the time we went to the temple and just sat outside of it while we talked about the day we get to go inside of it. I am grateful for his testimony and that he is the one to take me to the temple. I am grateful that he has all the backbone in the world and that he is strong and when he makes a decision he doesn't change his mind. I am grateful that he made the decision to ask me on a date 5 1/2 months ago and that he made the decision to let it progress and asked me to marry him a week ago.

(not his baby ps)

I am grateful for everything that he has done in his life that led him to where he is and made him the person that I would fall totally and completely in love with.

......there is a pulse

2011-07-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

Summer so far summer has been nothing short of awesome. I know that only three people read this but I do feel like I have a little bit betrayed my blends.

Last week I was able to make a last minute trip out to Canada to see my mom's side of the family. It was great to spend time with my cousins (mainly just Kiki and Rob). In the town that my mom grew up in they always do a parade on the 1st of July (Canada's independance day) and then have a rodeo. Before the rodeo there is always a family barbecue and I wish I had snapped some photos of that just you could be more entertained. On our way back from Canada Tyler, Katy, Reagan, and I took the scenic route and went to Mt. Rushmore and bear country. Anyway, summer has been amazing so far but none of my pictures are sending (and my sister never sent me the other ones ehem) so this blog just became 85% less exciting that I had anticipated.

In the mean time I am going to pick up my beloved from the airport. Stay tuned for the next post...I have anxious butterflies just thinking about it, really.

Magus.

2011-06-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

I am very lucky to have the sister that I have. Especially over the last 4 years.

Growing up I had no idea that the girl I shared a room with for the first 10 years and that would influence my brothers to duct tape my stuffed animals to the banister and what not...was actually the same girl that was going to turn into my best friend.

I remember when she was around 19 and 20 and would talk about her dating life and I always thought she was so lucky to be dating so much and when she met Cory I remember the excitement of knowing they were getting engaged and always wanting to be able to be in her shoes. I wanted to be like her and live the fun life that she had. She taught me things she didn't realize she was teaching me when I was still in high school and she was on the other side of the country.

It was when she was 22 and I was 18 that I finally was able to learn first hand the great person that my sister really was. I'll never forget the day we got stranded in Nebraska and Cory had to come to our rescue. We sat in this giant truck (full of the wrong gas) for seven hours and we listened to the song Brat Pack probably a total of 4 of those hours. I was so excited about the move and the friendship that I had developed with my sister. I had no idea that the friendship was only going to get better.

We have gone through so many separate life changing experiences together. I don't think Meg will ever realize the impact that the last 3 and a half years have had on me and how detrimental the last 2 have been.

When I first moved in with her and Cory my life was a bit of a disaster and over these last two years not only have I learned how to remain calm in all situations and how to be patient in literally any and all situations but I learned a great deal of love. As I have watched their marriage grow and seen the way Megan has so much patience with Luke I can only hope to be half the mother and wife that she is.

Meg-I know that this last month or so I have been off in la la land and completely concentrated on my life and what's next but I hope you know that this is the time that I need you the most even if it doesn't feel like it. I need to know your opinion on things that don't really matter like what colors go well together and in a few months I will really really need your help with knowing how to decorate an apartment. And the days when I am about to have a melt down from feeling stressed out I need you to pick up your phone and tell me what to do. Because you always know what to say.

I am so thankful to have you in my life. You have changed me more than anyone else in the world. You have made me realize how to not sweat the small stuff and that it is ok to cry while watching Oprah. You really are my best friend and the greatest sister on the planet. You will always be the person that I go to in time of crisis and for advice when I feel like life is too much, because you have a way of calming me down and encouraging me to keep my head on straight.

I love you sis and I am going to miss this life so much. Thank you so much for everything from making dinners to doing my laundry to introducing me to Luke. Don't let Jared replace me-please, he totally can't sing or dance the way we can.

What love is made of

2011-06-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

One box of oreos

One block of cream cheese

One bag of melted (milk, semi sweet, or white) chocolate chips.

Seriously. Better than...any fulfillment you can get from anything else in the world.

How it works.

2011-06-07T04:13:00.000-07:00

I am not sure how this stuff really works but I will tell you how it worked for this particular girl and boy.

Back in December this guy moved into an area where a girl, unknowingly, awaited his arrival. The guy wasn't supposed to move until April but he was determined to get there right away. Poor kid had no idea what was coming. The girl was really curious about this guy because he was roommates with a few of her good acquaintances and yet he never spoke to her. She figured he was intimidated.

The two of them finally talked and the guy wasted no time asking her on a date. The date was perfect...I mean like VIP tickets to a Jazz game perfect (and he didn't actually have to pay for them. Lucky ba.....boy) and they both left feeling good but unsure about the other person. Dates every other week or so followed along with brief conversations throughout the week here and there. They continued living their separate lives but once in a while allowed each other to experience a little piece of the other.

Toward the end of March the girl was really sure about what she wanted out of the next few months but none of it was working out and the boy was not included, the game was going on for too long and she didn't see that stopping so she quit playing. But after everything was not working out she got some counsel and was determined that she really does need to date this kid regardless of if he likes her or not. They will date.

So she told him they were going to go on a date that weekend. This girl is notorious for thinking she likes someone and then really not....so she was nervous that it was going to happen again. But it didn't, she seemed to like him more than ever. Crap.

Boy kisses girl. They talk more often and see each other more often....and then they don't.
The girl quits again and decides in about 5 minutes that she is done and tells the boy she is leaving for the summer.

The guy played it off pretty cool but apparently he was not happy about it. I guess he liked the girl more than he was willing to let off. Then the girl throws in another threat...she isn't coming back unless there is a lot of incentive (she is either really brilliant or really dumb and was potentially going to be stuck in the Midwest for a while, out of sheer stubborness). But that little bit is what got the ball rolling and before you know it the two of them are planning a future. A very good, permanent, future.

I'm curious to see if threats like this work on all boys....I might have to try this girls technique one day.

2011-06-02T10:47:00.000-07:00

If I wasn't already smitten, I would be smitten.

Carpe Diem

2011-05-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

"Don't get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life"

-Dolly Parton

In less than 4 weeks I will no longer have a job. I will move and I don't know where my next job will be. In 6 years there has not been a period in my life where I went without a job and where my job did not take precedence over just about everything else. I have been stable in my jobs and always enjoyed them. Two weeks ago when I stood in the giant building that I have spent more time in than out of, I turned off all the lights to close up and I stood there and looked at the giant building and thought I would feel sad or relieved that I am almost out. But I didn't. I stood there trying to feel anything and I couldn't. I felt nothing and that is when I knew that it is time for me to leave.

I have no idea where I will work next. I literally have no idea what happens next. I'm just going and all I know is that where I am going there is a lot of open land, a pool, and baseball.
The rest doesn't matter. And I am so happy about it.

misinterpretation

2011-04-30T12:25:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry but was this not you that you were referring to? I mean, I thought it was apparent given the events of the last....few months.

Did I miss something? Because if I remember correctly since the first day we have talked all I've heard from you is how you always get screwed over for being so nice. And I said nice was good, I like nice. I did not screw you over for being nice. I praised you for being nice. I still talk to you because you are so.damn.nice.

Have we not been having the conversations I think we're having?

Because you're kinda...bein a jerk. So stop.
For the love stop stop stop stop stop!

One can only hope

2011-04-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

The Current Whatever: "Well, congratulations"

Me: "For?"

The Current: "You're finally done dating jerks!"

Yeah, we'll see about that.

Are you fo real?

2011-04-06T07:01:00.000-07:00

In the last little while I started to think that it was time for a change and I was sensing that change was near. I began to prepare myself and thought things like "I shouldn't buy a dresser because if we move then it's just one more giant piece of furniture to haul". I had stopped dating altogether because I was sick of my options and thought that maybe if I went to a new ward that I'd meet someone impressive. I've had these thoughts a lot in the last month.

When our landlords called last week and said that they want to move back in to our place (ok, their place) I wasn't surprised. I have grown very attached to this place but the time came where it was time to just move on. I started looking for places to live in Salt Lake and discovered how cheap studio apartments are and that most of them allow dogs (found the ideal low maintenance breed-and named her). For lack of a better way to describe my future-I'm totally amped.

New scene, new faces, finish program at school-new job, fresh start. It sounds so refreshing.

So while searching, pondering, and what have you, I had a very "I'll go where you want me to go. I'll do what you want me to do" attitude. I felt so right about all of it and every time I would talk about it I got excited. But as I pulled up to our house the other day I got a little choked up. I love it here and we allowed ourselves to be comfortable here, which is probably the first mistake. But it's been such a good, happy, life. But it obviously means that it's time for the next phase-given the occurrence of events in the last few days.

I can't begin to tell how many moments of "not my will" or asking to be led into someones life that really needs to me there, have occurred in the last week. I never felt any sense of unease about moving and I really felt like Salt Lake was the place.

Last night Megan calls me to tell me she just spoke to Jerry (landlord). They don't want to move back and they want us to stay here. Oh. Huh? Seriously? ok. What? Well...alright. For real? Each of those statements were followed by confusion, tears, laughter, and in n out.

I guess two years later this is still the place. Whatever the heck that means.

Just Keep Swimming

2011-03-22T06:05:00.001-07:00

"When you think you have exhausted all possibilities,
remember this-you haven't"

Thomas Edison

Exactly what I needed to read. Things can still happen.
Life doesn't end here. Phew.

Fitness

2011-03-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I dragged one of my friends to a fitness class (and by friend I mean she is my visiting teacher but we developed a friendship because of visiting teaching, I always wanted to be friends with her but this way it forced her to be my friend. This is not my testimony of visiting teaching this is a mere coincidence that worked out to two women's benefit). Ok, I didn't really drag...she invited me to yoga as our monthly gathering and I said well...there's this class I want to go to at my work so we went to it instead. I just didn't tell her exactly what it was.

Hope she wasn't planning on anything....yoga-esque.

On our way there she asked what it was like I said "it's just some cardio and some weights". When we got there her first statement was...we use those during this class? I then told her the truth, this class will entirely beat the living daylights out of you and if your dinner starts burning in your throat you are allowed to stop for a second.

The class is hard and it's one where you are constantly going and you do not get a break. If you feel the need to throw up/faint/or just get a drink; you're allowed to but the class doesn't stop, it's a full hour of pain and agony, but it's the kind of pain and agony that you will voluntarily go and even pay for because you know how beneficial it is. And as you go along the instructor will help you keep your form and explain to you why exactly you are doing what you're doing the way you are doing it. So you know why you're doing it and even though it kills at an unreal amount; you keep trudging because at some point you will be able to do even more and that is what you want.

At the end of class a lady stated that somehow the class never gets easier and that you know you are getting stronger, but that just means that you can handle more. And more is definitely required.

On our way home VT brought up a good point...that class is exactly what life is like. We all volunteered to come to a place where you go and go and go and you look at all that you have conquered and you think how on earth did I do that? And how on earth can I do anything more challenging? And somehow you do it. You go in to so many things not knowing if it's going to be like yoga or if it's a boot camp. But you have an instructor telling you why you're doing it and so you just do it. Because you see so much potential in the future despite the pain of right that second.

Very true. Visiting teaching was a success.

Food.

2011-03-11T17:41:00.000-08:00

When I walk into a store I usually leave empty handed, because I am a cheapskate. And in a conversation I am probably not engaged because chances are high that I know very little about what you are talking about.

However, put me inside a restaurant and all my senses are drawn to what is about to happen to my body and the word budget is tossed aside into my mental black hole. I love restaurants and I can give you many facts about many places, I don't want to go as far as to say I'm a connoisseur but I am looking forward to the day I can say that will full confidence.

One of my biggest downfalls is my ever growing love for food and experiments. I am constantly on the prowl for new types or any odd combination of food and places to partake of food. I feel the need to share of some of the places I have been to recently. Please indulge in the words I am about to share.

Hard Times Cafe
Also known as "prison food". While driving past the Utah Prison you will see a sign that says "Hard Times Cafe Now Open" it is appropriately named, for it is food indeed served to you by prisoners. You walk in to one of the trailers outside the prison and you are greeted by some of the nicest people, tats and all. The food is good. Maybe don't go there on a date, but for lunch with your buddies; definitely a good choice. And cheap for a pretty solid amount of food.
Recommendations: Don't go when you have pms, the desserts are way too big and way too cheap to pass up.
Drawbacks: The lettuce they use is not romaine. Weirds me out.

J-Dawgs
I have only been here once and the thought of eating a hot dog for lunch made me a little hesitant. BUT if you are looking for something cheap and delicious this is your place. I find myself often craving a giant polish dog with jalapenos, a side of chips, and a drink. I would eat there every week if I could and really I think it cost a total of $4.
Recommendations: Definitely get their "special" sauce. Definitely add jalapenos.
Drawbacks: Go eat it and wait twenty minutes....then you'll find out :)

Cabela's
Not only does Cabela's make you long for a manly man but watching all the fish swim in the aquarium makes you a little hungry. Conveniently, by walking up the stairs you can solve the hunger issue....maybe the boyfriend issue, if you're lucky. I have always wanted to try that place so I decided to take the kid and see how it would go. It went well. After a ten minute process of trying to decide what to eat I did something I only do every four months or so-I got a cheeseburger. You might think that's crazy because they have options like "wild boar sandwiches" or the manager's special that was fish, shrimp, coleslaw and a drink. I'm still not sure why I passed that up but too many options makes me crazy so I had to have Luke choose for me. Cheeseburger with pepper-jack cheese and a side of sweet potato fries inside one of the greatest stores ever made. Yeah, heaven.
Recommendations: Eat at least 5 days before your next weigh in.
Drawbacks: Pepsi. There's a huge difference.

Gual Berto's
Located at the first ever Kneader's Bakery, in Draper. Yes, when you walk in you will see that they covered the Kneader's sign with paper and tape. That is how you know it is authentic Mexican. If you like Mexican food you will love this place. It seems to average about $7.00 and you could easily share a meal, the two tortillas that came with my fajita took up most of the table.
Recommendations: Go starving
Drawbacks: there is not one single drawback to Mexican food.

I hope that you have feasted upon these words and that you will take them and put them to use.

Incentive

2011-02-22T06:35:00.000-08:00

When people ask what I'm going to school for
what I want to say is..

I don't care what my major is
I just want to own my own place so that I can have
a.freaking.dog

Ok, well two dogs because if I'm at work they need a friend, obviously.

For real, the classifieds are what keep me trudging along through school.
I already have names picked out.

Spring Fling

2011-02-15T04:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about what my relationships were like. I said I don't so much have relationships as I do flings. He said he was the same way.

He asked what my flings entail so I told him and he said
"Good, we're on the same page. Think perhaps we could be a short fling?"

Absolutely.
This kid is so my type.

Happy Valentine's Day to me.

It took 22 years for me to learn that soup can be cooked in a microwave.

2011-02-01T04:16:00.000-08:00

They say how you start out the year is a good indication of how your year will go.

This one is obviously for my sista. Her cool factor went up, mine remained the same.
We are now tied.

[pardon the bang partage, I was not about to take another picture just to get it right]

So far, so good.

Just Curious

2011-01-28T05:27:00.000-08:00

Today I was reading about oral hygiene.
I told you I don't have facebook right now, so that would explain why I was doing that.

There were 5 tips on how to keep a kids teeth healthy. Number 5 was...do not dip their pacifier in syrup or honey.

Can someone enlighten me as to why you would ever do that in the first place?

Water bored

2011-01-25T06:57:00.000-08:00

I've always liked to drink water. I drank tap water for the majority of my life, until we moved to Wisconsin and there drinking tap water tasted worse than blood. Then I started drinking brita or fridge door water but by drinking brita meant that it was cold and drinking from the fridge meant you obviously added ice, since it was conveniently there with the push of a button.

So I had gotten a little more picky with my water-mainly it's temperature but slightly because of it's taste.

Then something terribly wonderful happened. The invention of this. And even worse, that's the water that my work sells.

You think Dasani is good? You think Fiji is good? Have you tried this stuff? It takes me all of 15 minutes to drink a 20 ouncer.

I have no idea what they do but drinking it feels like you have stuck a straw into a crisp cumulonimbus.

Once in a while, I will try and be conservative by bringing a water bottle from home. I put it in the fridge over night so that it is cold enough. Did that last night. I'm about 4 oz into it and gagging. I'm eating goldfish to try and drown out the flavor of this ordinary garbage water.

Moral of the story? Smart Water..is genius water. I am addicted.

three's a crowd

2011-01-22T13:28:00.000-08:00

"individuals are smart, it's people that are dumb"
-the current fwb

I concur.

In theory

2011-01-18T06:16:00.000-08:00

In the off chance that I were to date again, here are a few short and simple things that I will never do or say again.

1. I will never say "if it ends, it will totally be his choice".

2. He will be considered my friend and nothing more than my friend, at all times, regardless. If we are caught showing affection..he is nothing more than a friend with benefits. And we all know that's wrong, so it won't happen.

3. I will acknowledge that any and all eye rolls at the expense of my relationship, are much more valid than whatever statement I just made about it.

4. I will not point out that he has good qualities.
Or that he's funny.

5. I will make up names so that outsiders
will stop getting so attached.

6. I will never, ever, again say "The new hot guy in my ward invited me over". Actually, maybe I will say that, and it will be followed with a "and I said no (chance in hell) thanks".

7. If someone asks if I am dating someone, I will say nope.
If they ask if they can set me up, I will say nope.

8. If anyone were to see me and a particular friend in public and later ask me about it I will act as though I have no idea what they are talking about.
Or say "that was definitely my sister".

9. I will never tell them what I like about them because that will go one of two ways.
A.They will use it to their advantage to try and get me back
B. They will use it to their advantage because other girls probably like it too.
Either way, it's used to their advantage not mine
and that is stupid.

10. Lastly, I will take everything I ever thought and forget about it.
Everything I ever believed is currently being defied.
So, I guess I roll with it.

This is all a great idea, in theory. We'll see how long I last before I start doodling names on scratch paper.

Oh brother

2011-01-15T12:24:00.001-08:00

I grew up with four brothers. Two of them were the meanest people alive and the younger two were pretty sweet, unless commanded to behave differently by one of the older brothers (usually the eldest).

They loved to pick on me because I was always prepared to scream and cry. My mom was constantly telling me that they do it for the reaction and I was constantly resenting her for not just being on my side and telling them how horrible they were and that she would never leave me unattended with them again.

As I have gotten older the constant pestering has not stopped. It's things like being duct taped, thrown in snow, ice cubes down the back of your shirt, whatever. I entirely blame my brothers on my strange dating life. If a guy isn't tormenting me and trying to find new ways to laugh at my expense..I don't think he really likes me. Or he's girly.

Anyway, despite the fact that my parents raised 4 demons, I know my dumb brothers love me (and they would hate me for saying that and deny it until they are dead).
I know they love me because of this...

A few days before my trip was over I finally got the courage to venture out to see where Max was buried. I didn't think I was going to cry but when I saw the rocks placed the way they were it made me think about the brothers that dug the hole and buried Max and the brother that went outside and swept off snow from the rocks when I got to town so that I could go see it.

I got choked up thinking about Max but the thing that hit me the most was thinking about the people that took me into account to make sure that he had a proper burial, even if all it did was give them more jokes like saying "it's Max's head" as I go to open a Christmas present.

Community

2011-01-14T04:30:00.000-08:00

If you have ever seen Community, you have a pretty good idea on what I'm going to endure every Tuesday and Thursday.

Yesterday, we were taught how to add and subtract negative numbers. I know it's a weird concept but it took the full hour of class and about 400 - -300 examples for the class to wrap their heads around it. I'm not making fun, because it just so happens that I didn't manage to test out of this class.

In English a (50+ yr old) guy used the word punctuality rather than punctuation. He was entirely bewildered when my teacher said with a furrowed brow and squinted eyes.. "I.....don't think you mean being on time, do you?". He just looked at her like what in the world are you talking about?

Awkward.

Men.

2011-01-08T06:27:00.001-08:00

Marilyn Monroe once said,
"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it".
I miss her.

Once upon a time I was dating someone. I liked him overall but there were a few issues that had come up that I couldn't shake. In the dating world we all know that the smallest of things are the biggest of deal breakers.

I knew that he wasn't exactly a "man's man" but I did pull the whole "damsel in distress" card on him and asked him to help me change a tire (I promise I could have done it myself, considering the number of tires in my life that I've had go flat..but I was on my way too church so I wasn't dressed for the occasion). I wasn't surprised he jumped at the opportunity to help but it became clear that cars weren't his area of expertise. I stood there entirely dumbfounded and almost told him that I could do it on my own in my heels and skirt.

It didn't help his case about an hour later as one of our friends came over and started talking about guns. I don't really know much about guns but I have been around enough male figures in my life to understand at least the terminology. Apparently he has not.

This was all taking place just days after I had seen one of my dear old friends and he picked me up in his truck and we drove around listening to country music and making fun of everything in life. He then took me to his house where his dad was wearing a flannel coat and a camo shirt. And as we were leaving his house we saw deer and he had to call his dad to let him know. THAT is what I'm talking about.

I don't mean to be so hard on the guy I was dating. He was one of the nicest guys I have ever been out with. But when you have scruff, I want it to be because you just don't care to shave. Not that you meticulously shaved your beard perfectly because you once overheard me say that I like facial hair.

I could be writing this out simply so I can justify, somewhere outside of my brain, the fact that I put the kabosh on yet another relationship. Or it could be that I'm too picky to function. Or maybe I just want someone that doesn't apologize after the one time he ever said something sarcastic...have you met me? OR it really could be that chivalry is not what has died, manliness has and I am holding on to what little hope I have left that, that statement, cannot possibly be true.

Frat House

2010-12-30T22:21:00.001-08:00

Wait, nope. Just my parents after all of us have come home and taken over.

I'm probably not ever going to leave.

2010-12-12T20:57:00.000-08:00

I stole this quote from Rachel (don't click on her name, it isn't going to take you anywhere. I still haven't tried to figure that one out).

"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything."

- Win Borden

That's my stolen thought and I love it. Have a great week. I know I will, come Thursday I will have successfully completed a semester of college...there is a first for everything.

Only a few more to go and you can call me doctor.
Or just do it now, I'll still respond.

Perfection

2010-12-10T14:30:00.000-08:00

If anything in the world deserves your undivided attention, it is what I am about to tell you.

The Med from Noodles & Co. is exactly everything perfect in the world combined. And then placed on a piece of flatbread.

Let me share with you the ingredients.

Chicken, mushrooms, spinach, red bell pepper, cucumber, red onion, their zippy Med dressing, cilantro and feta on flatbread

Let me repeat that, only slower this time.

1. Chicken. The only type of meat that makes me not a vegetarian. I love chicken.
2. Mushrooms. I can go both ways with mushrooms really. I used to eat them because I thought they served a purpose. But they don't so now I just eat them when they're on something out of being too lazy to pick them off.
3. Spinach. Have I ever mentioned my undying love for leafy greens?
4. Red bell peppers, they add a good amount of flavor to anything.
5. Cucumbers. Have I ever mentioned my undying love for any type of green healthful food?
6. Red onion. Serves same purpose as red bell pepper, yet with a different additional flavor.
7. Med dressing. Definitely never had it before but everything needs some type of dressing on it, always.
8. CILANTRO. Does it need to be expressed how I feel about this? Like this is the stuff I pour on my cereal instead of sugar.
9. Feta. Feta and I have become friends kind of recently, and it is an unbreakable bond.
10. Flatbread. You can eat it on it's own, eat it with butter, add cinnamon and sugar, or add 9 other ingredients, I mean you can literally do anything with flatbread. So Delicious.

The best way I can think to describe the feeling of eating The Med would be similar to completing your first triathlon, riding a bull for 8 seconds, winning a stuffed animal at a carnival, or it might even be as good as the day your mom told you it's time for a bra.

Miss(ing) Independent

2010-12-08T22:13:00.000-08:00

On facebook they are doing this thing where you can make a collage of all of your status updates for the year. My curiosity wanted a reminder on what has been on my mind throughout the whole year. I went through them this morning (I'll do anything to pretend my political science debate isn't happening tomorrow) and I have to admit I was laughing my butt off at some of the things and responses to the thoughts shared.

That's all beside the point. As soon as I reached January 1st the status said "my runway never looked so clear" (a la Rihanna) and my most recent status was "feels like I just collided with a moose". Clearly, my runway wasn't as clear as I thought.

I found irony in this because this year I unintentionally started my life over, with a completely clear...runway. It started off with some amount of suffering and heartache that if you asked in January, I was never going to get over it.

Somewhere between February and September I figured out my life. That was the first time that has ever happened. As I went through a slew of half A** relationships (aside from any other year?) and was pushed back into school, I found out who I was, I know what I like, I have an idea of what I love, what I need and want are similar. As far as what I need I can't tell if they're needs or just wants...I think, technically, I have everything I need. But who can really determine what really is a want and what is a need?

My heart became much more susceptible and open and with that, I hit a wall....or collided with a moose, if you will. I lost my indestructibility and as a friend graciously told me, the other day, I lost my "free spirit". Call it what you want, it has gone missing.

So now I need to reinstate it. I have issued myself a 4 week challenge, come January 2nd I'll be back to where I was happily a few months ago. These last few months have been happy, just a different style than I'm used to. I'm going to get back to where school was a main priority and I made decisions from my brain, not my emotions.

I hate it when I sound like a hippie but I'm going to get my independence back. I want to go back to when walking into a room, alone, people looked at me and they didn't look around to see who wasn't with me.

Back to when it was just me. No questions. No explanations. No expectations. Just me, being me, and very happy with who that person is.

Like a child

2010-12-06T05:46:00.000-08:00

Over the summer I would take Luke on walks and he constantly fought wanting to be buckled in the stroller. It wasn't that he wanted to walk around, he just didn't want the restriction of the seat belt.

One day I didn't fight him and about half way through the walk he completely face planted. Now, I'm not exactly sure what he was doing leaning forward for no reason, but he just leaned on forward and toppled to the ground. As he cried I held him, a little dumbfounded at how the situation played out but more just feeling bad and wanting to comfort him, wanting him to feel better.

He didn't fight for about two weeks after that but then one day he refused to let me buckle him in again. I looked at him and said "You really are going to try this again? Haven't you already learned?" Right after I said it I stopped, it was like the heavens were chuckling and saying look who's talking.

I have thought a lot about the amount of love I have for Luke. He isn't my own kid and I have a love for him that you don't know is out there until you have experienced being around a child. The battles we have are constant and always over the same things. Don't jump off the couch, put those pillows back on my bed, don't hit people with golf clubs, and so on. So many times I hear the chair being dragged onto the kitchen floor so that he can get on top of the counter to get into who knows what. My patience is often tested and I usually fall short of the person that I could be in helping him grow and learn. Things like trying to teach him that if he eats his lunch, he can have a cookie. Or if he cleans up his toys he can watch mickey.

Under every circumstance that leads to frustration, there is never a day where I don't love him. Anytime I walk in the door he yells my name and runs to give me a hug. When I am in my room he sticks his fingers under the door and says "Am, Ammie, Abbie" until I let him in, usually to have a pillow fight. We have a bond and it's one that has helped me realize exactly what it must be like for our Heavenly Father. He loves us unconditionally and doesn't enjoy watching us go through hardships. But he does allow us to learn and grow, on our own.

There are two big differences about the love we have for kids and the love Heavenly Father has for us. The first being that he doesn't fall short. He doesn't get exhausted from us. He doesn't leave us alone because he just doesn't feel like getting off the couch because he has heard enough complaints for one day. Imagine the love that you have for a child and multiply it by 10 billion.

The second difference is that, like a child, we have lessons where we need to learn obedience and cause and effect. But with us it isn't always as easy as eating our carrots and getting dessert. Or if we keep our room clean all week we can have a sleep over that Friday. Sometimes we have to be obedient for an unknown amount of time and we are working towards an unspecified reward. And we do it because we know that there is something waiting for us, somewhere. We have gone through it enough in the past to know that there is always something better waiting for us, something greater than being able to stay up late with your friend and even better than a homemade cookie.

Unless the cookie lasts forever and doesn't have any calories. That would so be worth it.

Peeved

2010-12-01T09:58:00.000-08:00

I have a handful of pet peeves, a lot of them are small things like tape left on windows, smudges on the computer screen, Hollister, or when a rug is slightly curled at the corner.

I decided my biggest ones are people complaining over issues they can solve and when people act like they are above you because they don't drink soda or they don't watch tv.
I highly dislike hearing the following statements: "oh, I don't have time for television" or "soda is soooo bad for you", yeah well so is slouching and find me someone that doesn't do that .

First of all, I understand that life is busy and sometimes it takes me a couple of days to get through an episode of Modern Family. However, I do not feel as though my life has gone to waste because on Thursday nights after babysitting, working, going to school, and going to the gym (sometimes) I sit down and plop in front of the tv for an hour or two of straight humor. But there are a few people out there that if you ask if they like whatever show they say "I don't watch tv" or "Who has time for tv?". It wouldn't bother me so much if they didn't have an elitist tone when they said it. I'm sorry, but if I can find time to watch tv and most full time employee, full time students, and parents that I know can find time-then anyone can find time. You're not fooling anyone, we know you just want to sound like a hipster but deep down you hate that you can't quote 30 rock...I know, I've been there.

Secondly, soda. You don't have to like it. Not everyone loves carbonation and some people find their guilty pleasures elsewhere. It's the over exaggeration of the word hate when expressing how you feel about it. Really, you hate it? Like the feeling I have towards gang members is the same way you feel about bubbly drinks with aspartame? Highly Doubt it.

Lastly, complaining about a solvable problem. I don't mind people venting, at all. All of us need to do it, clearly that is what is happening right now. It's the complaining about issues that you have control over.
What are considered valid complaints? Hunger while at work, cramps, homework, being tired, being cold, gnats in your salad, and having to pee during a meeting.
What is not valid? Complaining about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend but when someone suggests someone you could ask out your response is "yeah but he/she is too (fat, skinny, tall, short, blonde, brunette, red head, pasty, fake bakes, outgoing, shy, etc)."
Then why are you complaining? If I thought that no one was good enough for me, I would not be complaining. I would kill to be that awesome.

Some things never change

2010-11-29T20:57:00.001-08:00

Some might think that the significance of
an event might fade after it has happened
so many times.

I am happy to say, that is not so.

Gratitude in a nutshell

2010-11-23T04:59:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for my bed.

It was free. I'm also infinitely grateful for Ikea lowering the price of the zebra picture hanging on my awesome purple wall (obviously I had to include that in the picture).

Tomorrow I am thankful for the chance I get to leave work no later than 8:15pm
(rare for a Wednesday).

Thursday I am thankful for Cory's family.
People always look at me weird when I say I'll be going to my brother in laws family's for whatever holiday and then they question if I think it's weird.
I don't, because they really are the extended family I never had
(besides grandparents and my favorite cousin Kaylee, obviously).

Thursday I am also thankful for not having my political science class for two weeks in a row.

If you want me to express my feelings towards that class, I will do it willingly.
Just let me know.

Friday I am thankful for
Old Navy having a cardigan in every style, shape, and color on sale.
And though I refuse to go to the mall that day, I just might have to drop by Gap to see if they have a pair of gray cords.
I don't know what I would do without the former or the latter.

Saturday I am grateful for Josh Groban's Christmas Album
It will be playing over and over again for the next month

Everyday I am thankful for..
my family, my friends, yoga pants, my favorite green jacket that was only $4, my genius idea to invent a St. Bernard that doesn't shed..and the day I get to own one,
my job, school (not a quotable statement, BTW), and the gospel.

Finding Joy in the Journey

2010-11-18T09:14:00.000-08:00

“Whatever hour God has blessed you with, take it with grateful hand, nor postpone your joys from year to year, so that in whatever place you have been, you may say that you have lived happily.”

If you haven't read President Monson's talk "Finding Joy in the Journey" recently...
you should.

sodalicious

2010-11-11T17:00:00.001-08:00

Whoever said mother knows best, was probably a mom. And she was right.

I got my tonsils out when I was 12 and I have a very clear memory of my mom taking me to KFC to get mashed potatoes and A&W root beer. I was weirded out by the root beer factor but she told me that it would soothe my throat. It did, she was right.

Anytime any of us were sick she would give us soda crackers and have us drink sprite. The carbonation was supposed to soothe your stomach. I wonder if anyone else calls them soda crackers or just saltines? Because I prefer use the word soda. Anyway, her plan worked again.

As soon as we reached 100 pounds we were able to drink caffeine. To this day I will refuse to take medicine for a headache. It's diet coke or die. My mom taught me that (by example).

Nothing cures anything better than a carbonated beverage.
It is my comfort food.

Let them eat cake

2010-11-09T04:26:00.000-08:00

Think of what your favorite dessert is. Mine would definitely be a chocolate shake or chocolate chip cookies. But for the sake of this story I will stick with cake, mainly because shakes and cookies are hard to compare. And because this story really is about cake, there is nothing underlying.

You walk into a bakery but don't really want anything. You are browsing because you have the time but don't care to eat, your stomach is full of wholesome things, not stupid cake. As you are there you see someone making red velvet batter so you think maybe you could use a little dessert to top off all the healthful things you have eaten. The person making the cake approaches you and explains to you a little bit of how the cake is made and says "ya know, if you want some you might be able to have some but I'm not really sure because there are a lot of other people that want it too, and one cake can only go so far."
After a lot of back and forth you are finally able to try some batter and it is pretty good, you can only imagine what it would taste like after it was actually baked. So you taste this batter and the person making it knows that you would definitely want some of the cake after it's made the only problem is that if you try a piece, you'll want the whole thing. The baker tells you that you could try a bite when it's ready so you sit down, get out a plate and a fork and as soon as you do that, the baker realizes that you're too ready and won't be satisfied with just a bite, you'll want a whole piece and then you'll want the whole cake. The baker starts talking about the other people that want the cake and that you're not the top priority at this point. So after a little hesitancy, you put the plate and fork away and accept that you just won't have any cake today and you sheepishly walk back to the table you were sitting at.
As soon as you sit down someone puts a piece of yellow cake with chocolate icing in front of you and says that if you like it, you can have the whole cake. No questions. Other people have tried it and liked it, but the whole cake is yours for the taking if you want it. Easy as that. At this point the person making the red velvet cake realizes what is happening and becomes concerned because everyone wants a slice of what they are making. It's not the fact that they want to share the cake with you, it's the fact that someone else can come along with a cake that required little effort to make and yet it still tastes just as good.
So the red velvet baker has to act fast and they open the oven just enough for you to smell the cake and be reminded of what you originally wanted. The cake is almost ready and you start to slow down on the yellow cake just in case they decide to share the red velvet. The only problem is that you know that you can have the whole yellow cake and you're still unsure as to how much red velvet cake you really would get. So you begin to debate with yourself. Red velvet was the original and you know that you would like it but yellow cake tastes just as good, it just wasn't what you were craving. But you know that if you take the yellow you get it all. If you go for the red the baker is prone to changing their mind and might only let you have a piece, leaving you cakeless and craving something that you never needed in the first place.

The moral of the story is that the world is a cruel place and you are never allowed to just have your cake, and eat it too.

If only

2010-11-02T04:38:00.000-07:00

Some days (Tuesday mornings) I wish so badly I could have just one...two or three...of these.

In high school, Gina and I would joke wishfully about a 24 hour punch card. You are allowed 24 hours in a lifetime to do whatever you want. Hours can be earned for good behavior, in which case I'm up to...unlimited hours, naturally. Of all the things in the world, I'm not sure why I want to waste my hours on drinking coffee but for a chilly November morning, that drink sure looks good...

But, I'll continue my endeavor in obedience, and stick with Diet Coke.

Letting Go

2010-10-28T00:08:00.000-07:00

You know how some people will say they have really let themselves go and by that they mean they ate a cupcake while on their diet or haven't done laundry in over a week?

I envy those people. The gym and I have been having a rough patch and only see each other about once a week for half an hour. Other than that, I am now drinking soda in any flavor just to stay alive, pretzels are whats for dinner, I only wash my underwear because I think that's the only thing that matters, and now sleeping on the couch is no longer a novelty. It is a necessity.

Now you might be asking yourself, what does sleeping on a couch have to do with anything? Well, because I don't actually fit on my bed anymore.

So now you might be thinking "why don't you just dump it onto the floor?"

Well, because then, I won't actually be able to fit in my room, anymore.

Yeah. I remember someone once telling me that I was put together. I think I remember it so well because that was the only time it has ever happened.

On a lighter note, I have been slowly coming back. Today, I tried to see how many articles of clothing I could put away while brushing my teeth. It's a good idea, in theory. But unless I want to brush my teeth for 6 straight hours, I should probably come up with a different method.

A little advice.

2010-10-18T13:47:00.000-07:00

"I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite."
-CK Chesterton
I've never heard of him (him?) but I sure love the quote.

I have started to find that other people's advice is not always a bad thing. Some people know what they are talking about and some have experience in the matter of which I need advice.

However, some do not. Some people have very different experiences and have lived very different lives than mine. I rarely give people advice because I am a very circumstantial person. (I'm not sure if I used that word in the right context) what I mean is that I think everyone has a different situation and different story and what I would do in a situation is different than what they would or should do. So really my advice is no good unless I have been there...or I'm giving the advice to myself, even then it's questionable.

No one's family life is the same. No one's dating life is the same. Everyone has different goals, dreams, and aspirations. We may all see fit that we end up in the same place but not very many of us will get there by taking the same route.

That being said, unless we know why we are saying what we are saying, sometimes our personal wisdom really isn't that necessary to share with someone when we don't know them on a personal level.

I'm not saying advice is bad. Advice is meant to be shared. As long as you can differentiate between good advice and strong opinion.

I'm Lovin' It

2010-10-11T09:12:00.000-07:00

It is that time of year again. The moment I don't realize is happening, until it's happening.

I always love Monopoly time at McDonald's. I am entirely convinced that the amount of McDonald's my family consumes we will eventually make us millionaires.

The real problem I am currently facing is this:

Both of them are only a dollar. Only one of them has Monopoly stickers.
Guess which one that is..

(Hint: not the bigger one.)

Sgt. Maxwell the 1st (and only)

2010-10-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

I will never forget the day that Maxwell came into my life. My dad was not thrilled about it and had no idea that Max would be the only dog that stuck around for so long.

Max was the kind of dog that made people question if they really hated dogs or not. He was brilliant. He knew every trick from giving fives to army crawling (that's why we call him the Sarge) . He learned how to spell walk and car, I think that's all he really ever liked. Going for rides in the car and walks. I wouldn't be able to count the number of miles we have walked together and the number of times he was my main source of comfort. So many memories, I'd start from the beginning but it would take a few years to explain.

He learned how to unlock our back door so we could sneak in during the day...or night. He knew when company came over he had to "go hide" which to him meant "sleep under the couch". He worried so much about being a good dog. He loved everyone. I don't just mean he loved other people, he loved everyone including the toad that lived in the window well.

He was an emotional dog. He broke out in hives when he got nervous and if you took his collar off, he was lost. Unless you did it to scratch his neck.

No amount of words can give this dog justice. He was just too great.

I love you Maxwell. Thanks for years of endless amusement and love. Thank you for being a constant companion to everyone that ever needed it. Thanks for always going crazy when I came home and for being sad every time you saw one of us packing to leave. Thanks for car rides and walks. Thanks for knowing how to smile.
You will be greatly missed and always, irreplaceable.

“So we see that the Lord intends to save, not only the earth and the heavens, not only man who dwells upon the earth, but all things which he has created. The animals, the fishes of the sea, the fowls of the air, as well as man, are to be recreated, or renewed, through the resurrection, for they too are living souls.”-Joseph Fielding Smith

Doctrine.

Until we meet again, Fluffy.

Faith

2010-10-05T04:23:00.000-07:00

Faith is to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true.

The other day I was texting my friend and I said "I think Heavenly Father is laughing at me right now". She replied saying "I think he's teaching you to have a little faith."

She has a really good point. I always considered myself to have a great amount of faith. I have never questioned the truth of the church and I have always had faith that things always have a way of working themselves out. Regardless of how it works out, it's never as bad as we think, a lot of the time it's even better than we think.

Over the past few months my faith has not been tested. As far as me and my life were concerned, my faith was there but sitting still. Not needing to be used and not being tried at all.

It wasn't until my friend told me this that I really stopped and thought about the amount of things that have happened to me in the past few months, that weren't faith testers but were faith provers. There was an event where I silently looked up at the sky and asked Heavenly Father where he was, to help get me out of a situation, and within seconds I was saved. There was a time when I prayed asking that I could feel at peace with something that was going to happen and I had no control over. I asked that if I couldn't have more time, I could be at peace with that. That very day I was overcome with a huge amount of love and a feeling that told me it's going to be ok and I am not alone in this.

Through a simple text message response, I was able to see that I need to have more faith. I need to have faith in things that cannot happen immediately. I need to have faith that the good decisions I make today will lead not only to a good tomorrow but to a good forever.

I have always had a great amount of faith in Heavenly Father and I have always known of the truth that is restored on this earth. I have taken huge leaps of faith and muttered short prayers only to see and feel his love for me. Whether it happened that day or years down the road. His love is there. He shows it to us through our families and friends. He shows it to us by surrounding us with beauty. He shows it to us by simply giving us that feeling of peace we have been longing for.

When he sent us to earth he had faith in us. He gives us challenges because he has unwavering faith that we can overcome adversity. When I was told that maybe I was being taught to have a little faith, I thought I already have enough faith. But sometimes we need a reminder that even though we have put our faith in God, we need to find a little faith in ourselves, as well.

New Pet(s)?!

2010-09-28T04:11:00.000-07:00

Last night we caught ourselves a nice little wolf spider. The bugger on the left tried sneaking into our house. It was one of those things where he was too big too kill, but too big to let live. I don't know, sounds like a lose lose situation for all parties involved.

We left him outside by our door, because what the heck else would we do?

This morning as I was leaving for work, this is what I found.

Why does everything funny always have to happen when I'm by myself? I have been laughing for a solid 30 minutes, it might be because it is way too early to function.

sexpectations

2010-09-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

In the movie 500 Days of Summer there is a part where Tom (who is in love with Summer, who is not particularly in love with Tom) goes to a party that Summer invited him to. The screen splits into two and there it shows Tom's reality and Tom's expectations. Tom plans on going and having him and Summer talk the night away and probably even dance some, it shows them having intimate conversation in a corner away from everyone else. The reality was, though, that he had been invited to Summer's engagement party, she was not engaged to Tom if that's what you are asking. He is devastated and it is really sad.

Everyday we go into it knowing what to expect and what is expected of us. I know what is expected of me as an employee, a student, and a sister/babysitter/aunt/friend. Although I don't always reach my expectations and I rarely will exceed them, I know what they are and I try to obtain them.

Of course there is a particular thing that occasionally happens that I no longer can even fathom any portion of what to expect or what is expected of me. It's called social interaction with the male gender. It does not matter who it is or what they are like, for one reason or another, it will not go as planned. I typically know what to expect from different guys, All you have to know is the stereotype of what brand of pants they are wearing and how they do their hair.

I came across a really nice boy not too long ago. He is nice and he is funny and he's one of those boys that you see and all of the sudden you turn on your obnoxious charm button and try to work it the best you can. It doesn't take this boy very long to talk to you, invite you over for a movie, and text you at random times during the week. The texting continues. And that is all.

Then there is another type of expectations, the one you have once you already have the date in the bag. I recently was put in a situation where I had high expectations. I remember thinking something along the lines of"optimistic". I wouldn't ever say that word out loud, mind you.

To give you a brief synopsis of what happened (and an explanation of the blog title) on Friday night I went out with this boy that was quite charming. We had been talking all week and a lot of excitement was expressed for Friday to come. On Friday we talked about things we look for in a relationship and what we expect of the person we are dating. It was good conversation and a really good time. I thought going to the park, afterward, was safe until I was told by my date that he was an "all or nothing" kind of guy. Ahem. If you don't know what that means I'm sure he would gladly explain it for you, as he did me. He even told me I shouldn't pull the religion card after I told him I won't allow him to drag me to hell with him (dramatic but it stung him a little). Did I mention we met at church? After some conversation had taken place I sat on this blanket staring at the sky and all I could see was two different screens. One titled "reality" and one titled "expectations". The rest of my night was narrated by a somewhat mocking voice talking about the two poor suckers that went into the night expecting totally opposite things to take place.

I generally know what to expect when I have a date. I know what my feelings are before I go out with the guy and it's rare that a date is going to change my mind. But after all is said and done and I repeatedly say "but maybe this guy really is different" I finally have come to terms with what guys really expect from me.

They want to be my text friend or they want to be my sex friend.

How flattering.

lovetred

2010-09-14T22:48:00.001-07:00

The other day my cousin, Kaylee, and I were discussing the love/hate relationship we have with our lives. That's what we call lovetred. It is a combination of greatness and garbage into one (usually in the form of chocolate or boy).

First of all, let's talk about brownies. What is better than a fresh out of the oven, gooey, warm, chocolatey filled carb? Unless you are thinking of a chocolate shake, then you and I both know there is nothing better. Until after you look and see that the pan is gone and it seems to take all of 10 minutes to arrive on your thighs.

That is lovetred. You love those brownies but you hate what they do to you. They taste so good and you keep going back for more and the whole time you know you'll regret it and you just can't help yourself.

Ok, now boys? That was obviously the main thing discussed with the love/hate shpeel.

Boys are wonderful. You look at them and just want to hug their cuteness...til their eyes pop out. Because, quite frankly, it would make me feel a lot better.

This is the place

2010-08-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

I feel the need to rave about Lehi for a minute. The city, not the prophet-I'll talk about him later.

When we decided to move to Lehi I knew it was for the better and was a good choice. It was something that worked out exactly as I had hoped, which is rare in most situations. It felt like the beginning of a new life for me. It really is my kind of place. It's close enough to restaurants and all the necessities but still has it's own small town feel to it. On my daily walk I see 3 different pastures and stray cats are everywhere. I sometimes name them, but try not to get too attached because there is nothing that is worse than seeing them...no longer living.

I had no idea what was in store for me when we moved. I was excited about painting my bedroom and being able to live with Megan, Cory, and Luke-there is something about living with your family that makes it much easier to call home. That is what made me so excited about this venture. I had no idea that, that, wasn't the only great thing about Lehi.

I'm a nervous wreck when it comes to meeting to new people so I went to church the first few weeks trying to get a feel of where I would fit in. I spent a while sitting on a side bench alone and I never spoke a word in relief society. But there was not a day that I felt like I did not belong there-I felt the opposite, I have felt like I belong in that ward since the first day, regardless of where I sat or who I sat by.

Every time the bishop speaks it feels like it is directly to me. I have become the person that sits in the front row during Sunday School and the 4th row during sacrament. Sometimes I sit by myself but I, for the first time ever, don't feel any insecurity in doing so. I have a place and I know the people that will sit by me and the people that don't particularly care for me.

I love this place. I love American Fork canyon whether I'm just outside looking at it or I'm in it hiking or roasting marshmallows. I love going home and feeling like it's home and never feeling like I'm alone, because all I have to do is walk into a different room and someone will be there. I love the people, the way people drag me to their social events or something about them convinces me I should go, without being forced. The friends I have made are genuine friends and seem like the kind that will be around for a solid amount of time. None of the Provo people hopping stuff that so many people of the UC have endured throughout their college lives.

This place is fabulous and even better, are the people and the life it has introduced to me.

Here's to another year.

Young at heart

2010-07-31T04:37:00.000-07:00

Today is Maxwell's 10th birthday.

picture of a picture but he was such a cute puppy!

He's lost his eyesight and has no desire left in him to acknowledge the neighbor's dogs. But he is definitely still Max. He is still the dog that loves to chase people around the staircase and hunt down possums in the backyard.

Walks seem to be a thing of the past but he still pretends to be excited when you ask, for your sake, because he doesn't want you to realize he is getting old. But he will still kill for a ride in the car.

He still knows every trick from giving high fives to army crawling. But he has learned that he no longer has to do tricks for treats, because he deserves them anyway.

He has changed many dog haters opinions.

He loathes getting his picture taken (hence the stink eye).

Best dog ever.

All I want for Christmas is for you to still be around. Then I promise I can let go.
Let's shoot for that, okay Fluffy?

English 101

2010-07-29T07:08:00.000-07:00

English is not one of my stronger points. I add comma's and periods wherever I so desire and I have no idea how you are supposed to punctuate written conversations, as you will notice. But the way some people speak is like nails on a chalkboard.

A whole nother. What is that? nother? is nother a word? You cannot split a word like that. Defi not nitely.

"I could care less" Alright which means that you actually care. "What do you want to eat?" "Oh, I could care less" ok now that we have established you indeed have an opinion....."so what do you want to eat?" "Huh? I already said I could care less" We could really just go in circles with this one.

What I wouldn't give. "What I wouldn't give to have a lollipop". Well I know that I wouldn't sacrifice my car or shave my head...but I would give a starburst in trade for said lollipop.

My favorite of all was this conversation on my little brother Jake's facebook status:

Brandon: Wow your cool
Jake: What about my cool, Brandon?

That is just a small example on how you could be made to look like a fool if you do not know how to use punctuation and it makes it more enjoyable for the bystanders when you do not notice the subtle mockery.

Lastly:
"How are you today?"
"I am doing good."

Glad to know how many people in the world do good!

Green with envy

2010-07-28T05:23:00.000-07:00

Why is it so difficult to be happy for people but so easy to be jealous?

I didn't exactly love my high school life. I have always been a bit of a friend hopper, I had one friend from every group of people you can imagine and so I would kind of hang out here and there but never had a set group to call my besties. I thought for so long that my life was terrible and everyone else had a life of bliss.

I would killed to have had a better car, better job, and some real friends. I looked at all the people that I thought had it made and I had a hard time liking them because I was so incredibly jealous of their lives. I felt like everyone saw my life the way I did, but as insecure as I was about myself I always wonder if anyone looked at my life and saw things that I had that they didn't, that I took for granted or didn't notice because to me it was no big deal.

It wasn't until about a year ago that I started to realize I lived the life I envied so much. I have the better car, I have the better job, and I definitely have the better friends. Even though I still am a definite friend hopper, I don't feel out of place in every group that I hang out with.

But now I look around and I can't help but to get jealous. I'm jealous of the people that are broke because they are going to school. I am jealous of the people that literally have no time in their day because they are going from school to work to homework. I'm jealous of the people that have stability. I'm jealous of people that say they don't have time for TV (kind of).

I'm jealous of the people with a plan and that know where they are going.

But every so often someone will come along and tell me how much they envy my life. They are jealous that I have so much time in my day and I can do whatever I want at my own discretion. I have had people tell me they are jealous of my freedom or the relationship me and my sister are able to have or the fact that I get to live with my nephew.

Admittedly, it is nice to have the life I do. Contrary to my father's "life is not a party" speech...or lecture rather, some points in life are most definitely a party.

I always wonder if people look at other people's lives the same way I do. I see everyone's successes and progress and their struggles. But their struggles all seem to have a purpose. They have to spend their money on school, they don't have enough time in their day because they are too busy trying to achieve their goals, or they don't know if they should buy a house or continue renting until grad school is finished. It's all part of their plan to move forward with life and become something. I'm so jealous of these people.

My struggles seem so minute. The only thing I can muster up complaining about is the square shaped polo I have to wear to work and that my free dinner of the week was a bust. Or that I don't have a puppy, but that's legit.

But like I said, often people will tell me how jealous they are because I am so lucky. I'm so lucky I get to live where I do. I'm so lucky I have such a good job. I'm so lucky I get to see my nephew everyday. I'm so lucky to have a good car. So lucky to have unlimited options on what to do with my time.

(Cliche moment) That is all true, although I prefer the word "blessed" over "lucky", I am definitely one of the two. Or possibly both.

But I still can't help but to observe the lives around me and wish for the stability they have or the exciting things that are happening in their lives, as I sit at the same computer I've been at for almost three years, wondering where my success is hiding.

As I sit here, I realize that I have been complaining about things I wish I had to complain about. I have hit a new low. You should all be jealous.

For everything else, there's Mastercard

2010-07-26T16:45:00.000-07:00

When I was younger I was a compulsive money saver. I would take the same 20 dollars to the mall every week and the only thing I might end up buying would be a churro from taco time. I one time bought an $11 large Ty stuffed animal, and it a monkey so that was a rather dumb purchase. I still hate myself for it.

I had always tried to save my money, and then I learned a valuable lesson. When I was 13 I bought a dog for $275. I was so proud that I had saved enough money from babysitting to get this dog. I then paid $90 for training and $40 to get him fixed. Two abrupt years later I sold that same dog for $35 on KSL. All of the sudden I learned that money sucks.

The same thing happened with my old car. I spent x amount of dollars and for five months after the death of that car I was still making payments. This was after who knows how much money was put into it to keep it running in the first place. That's when I learned things that suck, cost a lot of money.

I have lived a life of many an unfortunate financial event. I save for a rainy day and it instantly starts pouring and I always find coupons for great things, the day after they expire. I was feeling comfortable with how things were going for a while until every penny that was saved had to go to dentist bills, plane ticket (guess that wasn't a need, but for my sanity it certainly was), car registration, FIVE...oh yes, five..new tires, safety and emissions, and any other random event to come along and ruin my financial life.

Every time I check my account I hate what I see, or rather don't see. In which case I say screw it, go get some food and hit up Target. Because I love what I see there.

To the woman that was only 8 when she had me.

2010-07-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

A simple prayer

2010-07-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE bless that I do not screw this up.

Wednesdate

2010-07-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

Last year around this time I got an oil change and the young man doing it decided to ask me if I liked boating.

Conversation went as follows:
him: do ya lak boating?
me: yes I do
him: would ya wanna go with us sometime?
me: (looking around for the "us") yeah sure

give him my number, discuss the area code, move on. He never called me, whatever.

Last week, I went to get my safety and emissions and the young man doing it decided to ask me if I liked boating.

Conversation went as follows:
him: do ya lak boating?
me: yes I do
him: would ya wanna go sometime?
me: ("they" must not be here anymore) yeah sure

give him my number (didn't have the courage to ask if it were still in his phone from last time he asked), discuss the area code, move on. He called.

Bless this boys heart. That being said, boys are so cute when they comb their hair over their receding hairline.

I would hate to bore you with the details and poor grammar of this date. With questions like "is potatoes vegetable" and "Once you eat canned potatoes, I promise you'll never go back to real ones-they're so convenient and you don't have a tam limit on when you can eat them". He failed to mention that as long as it takes them to expire, that's how long they take to digest.

He was very nice and continued to compliment me throughout the night, except when he told me he liked that I was not pretty. I like blunt, but maybe be nicer. He corrected it and said "not prissy". Nice save. He left his wallet in his car when we went into smith's to get some groceries. A few minutes after that he asked me what the most embarrassing time of my life was. I said 2008-2009 and went into an explanation as to why. He said his was when he left his wallet in the car. Oh..then please ignore that useless information I just gave you.

In theory, who wouldn't love a guy that wants to take you boating, four wheeling, and said that for your second date you should get a Friday off work and he will take you to New York or Florida for the weekend, all expenses paid.

Theoretically, I'd be all over that. Sadly, I'm trying to cut down on using boys for their toys...and plane tickets, so I just told him it would be a good idea and refrained from asking if he was actually a murderer.

It was nice getting to know him, he really was so nice. But as the evening came to a close my feelings from the first few minutes had not been changed. I wanted so badly to hug him and let him know that things will work out with someone, one day. But I didn't.

Instead, I wrapped my arms around me and humbly muttered those encouraging words to myself.

Hide N Seek

2010-06-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

I give up.

WHERE ARE YOU?!

lofty ambitions

2010-06-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

I found one of my old friends blogs the other day and she has a list of 22 things she wants to accomplish by 22. I have given what things I would like to accomplish, a lot of thought because when someone asked me what my goals were the other day all I could come up with was "I really want to ride the stratosphere in Las Vegas."

Then yesterday in church the guy that isn't really hot but the way he presents himself forces you to think so, was talking to me about sky diving because it once was a topic of discussion and we were the only ones seriously wanting to. He asked if I was serious and I said yes and then he said cool, it starts next month and is $1500 then only $20 a jump after that. I somehow spit out the words "that's worth it". What I meant to say was "that's worth it when I have a spare $1500 and I'm not saying what you want to hear because I want you to think I'm awesome." It's a good goal but maybe one that I should hold off on.

I figured out it's really hard to have goals when you only see as far as two days in advance. When I moved out to Utah and started college I said I would spend two years at UVU then move on to BYU or possibly somewhere else, just as good. Clearly that wasn't going to happen so I set a better goal of kissing 20 boys by age 20. Success.

I wish I would have thought of this goal making thing at the beginning of the year (or beginning of my life), but June is good enough. Summer puts me in a more rational state of mind anyway. I have six months to come up with 22 things that I would like/need to accomplish. Maybe I'll see if I can double my number #20 by age 22. Just kidding, Dad.

I'll start with numbers one and two:

1. Ride the stratosphere
2. live through it

Here's to the next twenty...goals, that is.

I guess I won't eat worms

2010-06-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

I have been having a very bland couple of weeks. To top it off two of my brothers are out of town so I can't even get their criticism, over facebook, that I like to pretend is their way of showing they love me.

I've said "I don't care" or "It doesn't matter" like 64 times a day for the past month.

I cared little enough that I cut my hair. I remember back in the day staring at inches of hair on the floor and thinking "what have I done?" or "I am WAY too excited", this time I just looked at it and was like "huh" not even a shoulder shrug. I didn't really care much. Some people noticed and some people didn't, either way I didn't seem to care.

With this lack of desire to bother with things ie: showering has reached the optional limit, I begin lacking in not only caring what other people think but caring how they feel. It apparently gets to some people too.

My friend..we'll call him Karla because he's been acting like such a girl, really took my carelessness to heart. He started using phrases like "it hurts when you don't want to hang out" and "it makes me feel bad and I take it personally". All right well it hurts me that you want me to change my entire personality and start wanting to stay in jeans after work and go be social.

It was this huge Karla event for like four days and I got the brunt of all his life frustrations. Even worse is that I started to feel guilt. Guilt for something other than eating chocolate filled croissants for dinner. I remember reading Rachel's (don't know how to tag blogs here otherwise I would) ((hope tag is the right word usage)) blog that was about the song called wear sunscreen and in it is says "don't be reckless with other people's hearts, and don't let others be reckless with yours".

Wish I would have read that sooner in my life, jeez. It would have been handy info. That line repeatedly plays over and over in my head after I say things like "maybe you should take a nap and then we can have a normal conversation" or, simply put, "you're being a baby".

Karla and I started to have another "talk" tonight and towards the end he said something I always kind of thought but never expected him to think it too he said, "Amber I might be an ass and I might have problems and I might drink too much and get tattoos but I know when God tells me people are important to me". He then went to tell me that I am in his life for a reason.

The moment was quickly ruined when he said my appreciation sounded like sarcasm. It wasn't though, my tear ducts almost started shedding.

I attract his type a lot. The tattoos and tough guy-but inside they are a total softy and incredibly sincere. For some reason that type of person is always the one that wants to be my friend. I do like to think there's reason for it. I hope that my constant lectures of your body being a temple and eye rolls at how one lives their life will eventually pay off.

That's how I show I care. I tell Karla he's dumb for drinking and a baby for whining about his life when he is in charge of it. I tell Jeremy all the time that the first Sunday he doesn't have work I better see him and his 13 tattoos at church and I bring up said church numerous times throughout any conversation we have.

So I do care. And now I will get off my high horse and stop this midnight rant.

Generation Me

2010-06-03T12:02:00.001-07:00

While I was in Wisconsin one of our family friends started talking about generations of people. Baby boomers, generation x, then there is generation y but the slightly younger generation as well, also known as the "peter pan" generation because of the lack of growing up. He called it generation me. Hit the nail on the head with that one.

It is safe to say that people in their late twenties down to late teens live in a world that revolves around them to a point more extreme than generations before. Given the fact that all of us have at least one website dedicated strictly to ourselves. I have two. I have a website that you type in my name and all these stories and random facts about me, my life, my thoughts, come up- for anyone in the world to see. And if you join a network and type in my name, you can see pictures of me and essentially track my entire day to day life from 2006 and on. People buy into that stuff.

I think the difference between us and people ten or so years older than us is that they were told you can do anything you want, while we are being told you can do whatever you want. Just like everything else-we take advantage of that statement.

Now, I love this generation. I like the spirit everyone carries with them and the independent thinking. The problem is it seems to stop at the thought and doesn't get put into action. The phrase "I'm not ready" is such a crock and it is said repeatedly by this generation. I'm not ready for marriage, I'm not ready to go to school, I'll go back to church but I'm not ready. Even worse is that, that, is an acceptable excuse. But if you say "I just don't want to" people think you are irresponsible and lazy. Which is logical. I typically shrug my shoulders and mumble something in hopes that the subject will be changed.

Everyone seems so fearless. We all want to go sky diving and buy motorcycles and do crazy tricks on longboards and what not. We are invincible, yet we are so afraid of committing. If I go to school that means I have to pick a major and what if I don't like that major? Then I have to start over. So I might as well not bother. I get by supporting me just fine. If I get married then that means that someone else is sleeping in my bed. Someone will be in my comfort zone and someone will ask me where I have been, where I am going, and why I bought what I bought or did what I did. That someone has to know your life mistakes and what debt you have too. **Disclaimer-those are thoughts of the general generation, not solely my own.

We do a lot of whatever. We care about what we care about-and we let everyone else care about the rest. The things we want are usually things we can get. If we can't get them right then, we find a way to get them right then, or we accept it and find something else. We don't really know what we're doing but everyone seems so happy doing whatever it is they are doing.

It's a pretty good bunch of people this generation has. A very glass half full, happy go lucky, love one another-generation. I am certain one day we will figure it all out. But, for now, maybe we just aren't ready.

Cliche Moment

2010-05-25T07:37:00.000-07:00

All I ever do is complain about visiting teaching. I think it's dumb and the last thing I want to do is go pretend to be fake nice to someone for 1/2 an hour of my month and I don't want anyone doing the same thing back to me.

The stories are so dumb about how people's visiting teachers just saved their day. The people that just RAVE about it clearly their companion is their best friend and they visit their roommates. So dumb, can't stand it.

Yesterday my visiting teacher brought me the absolute best strawberry cupcakes on the planet and said she wanted to bring them by before I left for my trip. She is so nice & incredibly sincere, it kills me. She had no idea how bad I needed a cupcake & the quote that was taped to the saran wrap. Made my day.
And I ate a cupcake in 4 seconds flat. It was so delicious.

Testimony fulfilled.
Whatever.

Boys Toy

2010-05-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

You know those days where something really great is supposed to happen but the half empty side of you says it's not going to?
I had that day Sunday.

Much to my opposite of dismay at 3:42 I got a text asking when I could come over. Someone's life was spared.

I went over to (we will call him "Jeremy") Jeremy's and we ate some salmon (insert nine hearts for how much I love salmon) and then we went on a motorcycle ride. I have never been on a motorcycle before. The only thing more fun than that, is being yanked behind the back of a boat on a giant banana.

We went up Provo Canyon and drove around a small town, not quite Raymond status but still a great little place, called Wallsburg. I tried to play it cool when he kept asking if I was having fun and stating how much he loves small town life. I would give him an "oh yeah" or "yeah this is sweet". What I was thinking as to what I was saying were pretty different. I wanted to say "My only dream in life is to live on a farm and it seems as though we have similar aspirations so why don't we stay here and never go back to real life?". I enjoy Jeremy's company enough to keep my thoughts to myself. So my simple head nods and one word answers would suffice.

Then we went and drove around Jordanelle. It was the most beautiful night to be out. I don't like to use that word to describe things other than food and my beautiful ankles, so I hope you guys realize just how pretty the whole drive was without me having to overly emphasize.

I caught a small glimpse of what Heaven is like. Sun going down behind the mountains and reflecting on the lake. Not too cold, not too hot, and a stomach full of fish.

Everything was as perfect as Jeremy's pearly white teethed face, with aviators and a bandanna on.

Mother dear, I love you so.

2010-05-09T09:12:00.001-07:00

This is so true, it's scary.
I love you Mom!

One Track Mind

2010-05-08T14:09:00.000-07:00

I am a junk food junkie. I want to know who started promoting gum as a cure to stop eating, you buy it in packs so that you can spit it out at any time, to eat, and it can be replaced when you are done eating. I really hate this trait about myself. I remember at one point, when I was little, I thought chocolate and pizza were gross? The thought of not liking those, is now what's gross.

Everyday I start out the day with a bowl of cereal (typically multi grain cheerios or something else that's healthy/fiberish), I work out, then I eat an apple. I then eat lunch with is usually a chicken salad or some type of healthy sandwich. But something happens between noon and four that I cannot explain. The sugar beast is unleashed and all I want is cookies, brownies, a chocolate shake, and maybe some fries.

All control is lost. What is even worse is the people that support these habits. Wednesday, I did well (In n Out counts as "well"...I didn't eat ALL my fries..). Then I went to a Cinco De Mayo party, two burritos and a slice of cheesecake later, I went home. Thursday was good, I probably only settled for a box of junior mints or something. Friday I did well again, until I went to my friend Jesse's (at 11 at night-which is even better) and I started downing a bag of those really good Mother's cookies-the brown ones with the white frosting, oh man. It was discussed between Brian and Jesse that clearly I had not had dinner that night. I let them continue to think that as I drooled over Jesse's roommates cheeseburger so Jesse made me a burrito and gave me some chips and salsa.

Today was a similar day. I was doing great this morning and then Tommy came into work. With a plate full of homemade, fresh out of the oven, gooey, chocolate chip cookies.
Imagine that plate with three more cookies on it and that is what it looked like ten minutes ago.

Sometimes I think I should go buy some diet pills or something to help curb my appetite, but then I get to the grocery store and I see what I would be missing out on with this said "curbed appetite" and my mind is instantly changed, for the better.

I can't decide on a title.

2010-05-04T22:04:00.001-07:00

In the morning before I pour a bowl of cereal, I always taste each kind before I can choose which one I want to eat.

I'm not good at making decisions. I don't really like to for several reasons. One reason is because the decision could be too big and could alter my life. Other reasons are because all options sound appealing or because I'm afraid that whoever I am with doesn't like what I chose. Either way, I'm not going to decide.

A perfect example is when I was taking a personality test and I had narrowed down the answer to two: indecisive or something I can't remember. I asked everyone "Do you guys think I'm indecisive or (other one)" They all started laughing and said "I think you have your answer".

It got to the point that I could never decide between cheesecake with raspberry ice cream or red velvet with brownies-from Maggie Moo's-that I just started combining all of those together. So far, that's been my best decision yet.

On Sunday my bishop was talking to us about how the decisions we make right now in our lives (us meaning the young single adults) are the ones that will effect us the most. We choose what to study in school and where to go to school, we choose who we want to date and/or marry, we choose where we want to work, everything we are doing RIGHT NOW will literally change our lives. I feel enough anxiety at 8:00 on the morning wondering if honey bunches of oats really was what I should have eaten. How on earth am I to be expected to decide a future life?

There is nothing worse than knowing when there is no right or wrong choice. There is choice A, B, C, D, etc. And quite frankly, they all could be good. One might be better than another for whatever reason but really-in the end it gets you to the same place. Just with different experiences and people.

Answers don't seem to come to me as easy as they do to other people. So many people always talk about how they just knew that something was what they were supposed to do. It's clear when I am not supposed to do something but when it comes to what I should do, I feel I'm entirely on my own. I loved what the 2nd counselor in my bishopric said about his wife, he said he kept praying to know that she was the right one and he never got that answer. But he did get the answer that she was not the wrong one, so the rest is history.

I don't know what I should be studying or where I should be studying. I don't know which guy is the one I should pursue more than the next or what I should wear tomorrow. I am not sure how much it even matters, anymore. But what I do know is that even if I feel like I'm not being directed into a particular direction, I know that I will never be led astray and that I will be given the best life for me, as long as I give my best in return.

If your body is a temple, sculpt it like one.

2010-05-03T19:02:00.000-07:00

If you are ever feeling out of shape (or irregular) do this.

I've done it three times this past week and I feel like I'm 20 again. It is incredibly, painfully, difficult and your muscles feel like they are bleeding the next day. I usually stop to die about every 7th minute. But seriously, do it.

Never.Felt.Better.

Two good things came out of Germany, the first is their pancakes.

2010-04-17T07:48:00.001-07:00

I officially have a favorite dog. I have spent YEARS trying to sort through the many breeds I like, trying to find the ideal. The winner is a German Short Haired Pointer. Dogs 101 on Animal Planet really convinced me. I never paid a lot of attention to pointers for some reason and then I started watching animal planet a while ago and I was in awe. Then they replayed the episode a while later, and I was in awe again. Then I saw another show with one and I was envying everyone and their dog, in such a literal sense. They are a mixture of what I have always wanted in so many different breeds. They have perfect fur length, high energy, great temperament, great health, and Oh my gosh look at that face. I'm about to jump into the picture and go hang out on that dock with him. That is perfection in a fur coat. Check out the paws too.
Oh man.

If I had one of these..

I would never ask for anything else, ever again.

Seriously, you can quote me on that.

Reality Check

2010-04-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

I do not like dating. I don't like first dates, I don't like 3rd dates, and I don't like 12th dates.

I hate the awkwardness, I dislike the "dtr" and I hate having my life thrown off. I hate teaching people who I am and explaining petty details. I hate the talk of what comes next and I hate the thought even more. It scares me. To death. But it is something that's there and can't go ignored forever.

I try to live my life with as much routine as possible. There are three things that make me incredibly edgy. A messy room, not working out, and hunger. Hunger is irrelevant because dating usually requires countless meals and ice cream. But dating pulls me away from having the time and energy to work out and clean. Thus making me on edge and definitely throwing off my groove.

Boy that I am dating is fantastic. He has all the qualities that I could ever dream of for a guy. Really I could just go on and on about how great he is.

Here is why I am often referred to as "fickle".

I find a flaw and I am GLUED to that flaw. Ok so the things he has aren't even flaws. They are actually things that most girls *gulp* like. Being touched in any way, shape, or form makes me squirm. I see no reason under the sun why someone ever feels the need to touch me (please note, making out, is not in the touching category). I'm talking the simple arm around me, hand holding, "girl rests head on guys chest" that stuff. I hate it but I don't exactly know how to ask if we can sit on separate ends of the couch without sounding...stand offish and slightly strange.

I also don't like over availability. There is so much to be said for a man that is hard to get. At first I felt a sense of relief that this was so simple and easy but now I am starting to miss my life. The problem is that I simply do not enjoy having someone wait on me. This co-dependent lifestyle is a very hard one to enjoy. I want to do what I want to do. I do not want them to do what I want to do. I have no idea why but as soon as they start to try and impress me and try making me constantly happy, it backfires. I all of the sudden want out. It's like the real manliness has faded or something. I don't really understand that constant wanting to hang out. Don't guys need rest from girls? Don't they want a guys night?

The worst part is that I don't know what to do. I don't want out because it really is great. I have no way to explain this in terms that people with normal relationship skills would understand. It seems like everyone has found what works for them and they stand there scratching their heads to figure out what the heck is going on in mine (news flash, I don't know either). I'm trying to find a way out of being annoyed, every relationship gets like this and I am trying so hard to fight it, but the feeling is constantly coming back.

I found the perfect thing for my life and it's totally throwing me off.

"L" is for the way I stammer.

2010-04-07T12:04:00.000-07:00

I heard the L word yesterday. Directed towards me. In between I and you.

So and so was talking to his sister on the phone and at the end she said "love you" and he said "K, bye". So I told him to just say it to her. So he looked at me and said "fine (insert three word phrase here)" only it wasn't his sister he said that to.

I froze.

I thought it back, and I would have meant it had I said it, but I couldn't verbally express it back.

I was frozen so, clearly, I couldn't.

I sat there stammering like an idiot. All I could murmur out was "that was not fair". I'm an idiot , but a rather happy one.

A happy medium

2010-04-02T07:58:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to think of something great to write about for a while. I have like nine drafts sitting there, incomplete.

Part of me really wants to rant and rave about the annoyances in my life.

Like I want to complain about the kid that only ever talks to me when he needs a ride or conveniently at 11:00 at night. Last week I expressed my hatred towards mass texts and he told me that I was the only person to ever complain when I got invited to something and that I should grow up. I almost retaliated with "your welcome for giving you rides to work three times this week because you weren't responsible enough to put oil in your car and a ride to the courthouse because your 28 year old self couldn't pay your insurance". Sorry, I know I am quite immature because I simply don't like the impersonalness of being invited to your massive parties with 300 people and every live band in Utah County, which is basically every other 25-27 year old in Utah County. I don't think I have been told to grow up for quite some time, so it was a little new and refreshing to think that all my responsibilities are really nothing.

I also would probably want to complain about my friend that isn't my friend anymore because I wouldn't date him. We would talk every single day and I would go hang out with him pretty frequently until he started hitting on me and I rejected him (I promise it was a very nice, tactful, rejection) and now he doesn't talk to me and if I talk to to him it turns into a pity party of why his life is so miserable because he's short.

I would most likely follow up my rants with how tired I am of cleaning, how annoying it is when people think I am shy and that I can't stand up for myself because of my said "shyness", how obnoxious it is trying to go back to school when the counselor you need to talk to never answers her phone, and the fact that I only have the time to go to the gym about every third day.

I would also complain about my bathroom. I painted it brown a while ago and I seriously do not like it at all. I would rather have the white walls back so that when I stepped in it wasn't like stepping into a chocolate bar of claustrophobia. I even went and bought three little mirrors to go on the wall to make it feel a little bigger and, well, they just reflect the darkness. The color is a great color though.

But I don't want to come across as hostile or cynical so the other part of me wants to be sappy beyond anything and express my gratitude for everything I have in my life.

I would love to talk about my family and that I have a new nephew and how much I love living with Megan. Or how great the friends, that are actual friends, are.

Or I could take the gospel route and go on and on about the blessings it gives me in life and how there really is something to be said about obedience and the power of prayer. I mean seriously people, read your scriptures.

I would also really enjoy talking about the fact that there is a boy with every sort of a legitimacy (can we say returned missionary anyone??). Um, he could me the reason my gym attendance has gone down.

But, the sappy thing...isn't really my thing. So, I technically have nothing to write about.

Rated R for Ridiculous.

2010-01-27T11:09:00.001-08:00

Secret Life of the American Teenager started off as a very typical ABC Family show. By typical, I mean slightly bad acting and some serious life lessons we will all take to heart. It's a show about a 15 year old (maybe she was 14 at the time) girl that gets pregnant. You obviously expect the show to be about the hard life of being a teen mom and why you should do everything to prevent that. Which it does, but really, I'd prefer my teenage daughter watch Grey's Anatomy. At least if they are watching a show that has a lot of sex they A. are adults in the show and B. it's much better acting.

I got sucked into the show about half way through the first season. It was some cheesy show created by the same person that does 7th Heaven. Seriously, innocent, right? I thought so. Some teenage girl gets knocked up and has this debate of whether or not to keep the baby. For the sake of having a show, she obviously keeps it. The show continues, slowly but surely, about her sad teenage mom life.

But wait, it isn't sad. The dead beat baby daddy (Ricky) turns around and gets a job to support his son. The mom (Amy) gets a job at the church nursery..conveniently. Her parents get a divorce but her mom is pregnant with her dad's baby so obviously they are slowly falling back into love. Oh and oh so Christian Grace has sex and her dad dies because of it (and by dies I mean he was embarrassed to be on the show so he quit immediately). There are various other actors like Amy's sister Ashley whose best friend is gay because you can't have a show without without someone being gay-thanks for sticking with what's PC, ABC Fam.

That's a hunch of what I have been watching for an hour every Monday night. This show is progressively getting more and more morally...wrong. They always try to get their line in for the teenagers watching like "just because your parents don't talk to you about sex, doesn't mean they don't care" or "Follow your dreams, don't make a decision based off of what your boyfriend thinks you should do". Those are fine. However, let me explain to you what the last episode's punch was.

"Just say Me" rather than "Just say No". I'm going to let you figure out for yourself what that means. Maybe to you it means something different than what the ten girls in the show took it as. See Grace's mom told her that instead of needing a boyfriend for sex there is an alternative way. A way that "lower's blood pressure, relaxes you, and you cannot get an STD or pregnant". I almost threw up on the tv. That was the.entire.episode. I'm really thankful they got the part in there about religion. It went something along these lines: "Yes, we are Christian but we don't follow all the rules, most Christians don't. What matters is that we are good people".

From what I have gathered with this show the lessons to be learned are the following: Sex before marriage is fine-as long as you are not a devout Christian-otherwise your dad will die in a plane crash. 15 year old's cannot abstain. Parents cheating is fine as long as they are honest. And really as long as other people are doing it-it's perfectly fine-whatever it is.

In the mean time, I would advise anyone with teenage daughters to just skip to Desperate Housewives. At least they have consequences for their actions, the religious ones feel guilt rather than justify, and the actors don't look like Bob Saget just fell out of a 1980's TV screen.

Valiant Effort

2010-01-23T15:08:00.000-08:00

A few Sundays ago I was invited to go to one of my friends birthday party. He is the kind of person that throws out of control bashes, not simple dinners. I was really hesitant until he pulled the "it's 2010, you were lame last year...you can't be this year too". So, I swallowed every ounce of dignity and I went to this party.

My definition of a party: eating paradise pie from chili's.
This persons definition of a party: inviting 100+ people to a huge house and having a band play. Did I say people? I meant to say strangers.

About an hour into it I noticed a few familiar faces here and there..like my real live Edward that used to work out at my work, a hot volleyball coach from my work, and my brother in laws crazy friend that I have never seen in anything but just overalls at the white trash party.

Getting to the point, in the couple of hours that I was at this party I managed to get asked the same questions 18 times. Where are you from? Where do you work? Where do you live? How do you know who lives here? Are you going to school? What do you want to be? What is your phone number? You live with your sister? How do you like that? Want to come to another party? And then I do the same thing in return-only instead of inviting them to a party I'm like hey...you want to come over and see how cute my nephew is?

So, I left the party feeling pretty good and well socialized. I have since hung out with two of the above mentioned young males and the only thing I have learned thus far is, I will never go to another party. I do not like getting asked the same questions and I do not like recieving the same results of hang outs-congratulations-you have a tv big enough to cause me a headache, choosing Marley and Me to watch doesn't really win you points since you're the 5th person to do this, and your jeans are worth more than my entire tax return.

Needless to say, I put forth my effort to socialize and I found a purpose for attempting to look cute for a day. Now I think I should go back into my routine of what really matters and sit and wait until the one person I want to ask me out-actually does. No effort needed.

You've got 30 minutes

2009-11-25T10:47:00.001-08:00

Sunday at church I sat myself in the third row back and about three people's width in. I was sitting by no one. When this kid Adam came in and sat by me...only about two feet away because any closer would have been like he did it intentionally. Adam is the heart throb of the ward, or the silver fox, if you will.

Adam has pretended not to know me in the past so I simply smiled and acted as though we had crossed paths for the first time. I gave him the no teeth smile and head nod.

Priesthood and Relief Society were combined that day in the chapel so I sat in that spot for the whole three hours, Adam left me during Sunday School to go sit in the back row, which caused great concern in my mind. Then came back and sat by me for the last hour. He even offered me his suit coat as he could see I was going into a state of hypothermia. I then thought that maybe we could have a friendship after all. I gave him his coat back at the end and he asked if it kept me warm, I said yes. He said, good because he had been freezing the whole hour.

So, the "lesson" we had during the last block was the bishopric all sat up front and answered questions that people had written and put in a basket during the last few weeks. Being a singles ward, I wouldn't have expected anything more deep than "is it ok for girls to ask guys out?". I think after an hour of being taught how to find our eternal companion, Adam felt a deep obligation to ask any random girl on a date.

We chatted briefly about work, learned that we both are slightly anti-social, and he has a cat. We then proceeded to walk outside where he asked what my work schedule was like. I told him that I worked late every night except for Tuesdays and Fridays I only work until 8. The conversation then went like this:

Him: Ok so after 8 on Tuesday we'll go get ice cream.
Me: (was that a statement?) I have tithing settlement at 8:30 so after that...
Him: I'll go sign up for a time then we can just meet here. See ya.
Me (in an awful state of bewilderment): Ok......

So Adam then goes inside where James asks him if he did the deed. Adam asks James if he saw him pull out his phone, James says no. Adam says then there's your answer.
What the.

I get to the church on Tuesday and when I'm done with settlement, I walk out of the bishops office, relieved to see Adam still there due to the fact that I wasn't sure if Sunday had really happened or not. I then stand there awkwardly waiting for Adam to show any indication that we are actually going to go out. He stands up says "see ya" to James and the bishop and starts walking away. Or, sprinting, if you will. I took that as my cue and scurried along after him. He then asked if I wanted hot chocolate or Ice cream, this was the only point during the last two days that I actually knew we were indeed going to go somewhere together.

We went to Starbucks and got hot chocolate around 8:45. James texted me at 9 saying that if we aren't done too late to see if he was still at the church and tell him how it went. By 9:15 I was back at the church. When I was getting out of Adam's car he asked for a side hug, since we were still in the car, told me thank you, and said he will see me in a few weeks at church.

He gave me no expectations for any sort of date....or errand....in the future. Yet, I feel no sense of rejection. I think I just got out gamed.

A day late but still great

2009-10-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

A little over a year and nine months ago my sister called me into the bathroom at work. She showed me something that I didn't know was going to change my life, not just hers. It was a positive pregnancy test. I was so happy for Megan and so excited to find out more about the little baby inside of her.

I remember hoping for a niece, but once they found out it was a boy I had the perfect image of a little dark, curly haired, boy. Little did I know.

On October 29th, 2008 my sister called me and told me she was at the hospital. I went there as soon as I could. The feeling I had sitting inside that hospital room was one that I hadn't felt in a long time-peace. I had been going to school and working full time so my life wasn't very based on sitting and feeling peace. I sat in that room for a few hours and we talked about Lucas and about life before earth and how he was taking so long because he had to say goodbye to everyone up there. FINALLY Luke decided to grace us with his presence, a week late and emergency c-section later. I left work and went to the hospital as soon as I could to meet him, I was his first visitor.

I never knew how much love parents really have for their children, because I love Luke like crazy...and I'm only the aunt. Megan and I talked about it the other day and out of the year he has been born I have not seen him for a total of MAYBE four weeks. I can't stand being away from him, and I can't even imagine 1/8th of the love that Megan and Cory have for him. I know that he's never going to feel unloved because of how many people he has surrounding him everyday that love him unconditionally and people that can't see him everyday itch to see him.

That blonde hair- blue eyed baby is the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. He has taught me patience and love deeper than I knew existed. He always makes me laugh and he loves me back. He is always excited to see me and laughs at everything I do. I never really liked babies but Luke made me a total softy. I just love that little guy.

Happy birthday Lucas. I'm so excited to see what this next year brings, thank you so much for choosing my sister and very best friend to be your mom...so that I can have you in my life.

Hold On

2009-10-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have always been incredibly afraid of the dark. When I was little I would surround myself with stuffed animals so that they would protect me from bad guys. I once had a motion censor dog by my door so that I would be forewarned. I was seriously convinced someone was going to get me.

When I was in 7th grade there was one night where I was particularly afraid. I could not go to sleep and was convinced that, that, was the night that I would be kidnapped. I did the only thing I could think to do, I knelt down and poured my heart out in prayer.

I prayed that night to know that I would be protected from any harm or evil and that I would be able to be given a sign to know that I was going to be safe that night, and every other night. Immediately after my prayer Max (my dog) came in and slept next to me. I felt safe with him there and I fell asleep.

During that sleep I had a dream that I was being chased by someone wearing a scream mask. They chased me the entire way home from school. He would chase me into people's houses and I would have to hide in ovens because I thought that was the only place he wouldn't look. I was running all over the place trying to make it home safely without him finding me. Finally I took a run for it and he chased me right to my house.

When I opened the door, my whole family was in there yelling for me to hurry and hold on. They were standing in our dining room holding onto an iron rod. I remember all of them yelling "hurry, hurry, hold on to the rod!" and "if you grab the rod you will be safe!". I grabbed onto the rod and a scripture appeared on the rod that stated something regarding how I was now safe (I wish I knew which scripture it was....). The bad guy was gone for good.

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I ever remember feeling. I still was afraid of the dark but from that day forward I would pray or read my scriptures the nights when I couldn't sleep and that always calmed me down.

Anytime that I feel like something is burdening me or, quite honestly, when I am just scared that someone is following me, I immediately think to hold to the rod. This dream has helped me realize for years that without the gospel in my life, I would be wondering around scared, hiding, not knowing what to do. I am so grateful that when I was 12 I had the faith that saying a prayer would help me so that now, at 20, I can think back on that night and have that overwhelming amount of peace and faith all over again. I'm so grateful that a boy at 14 had the faith to say a prayer so that, I can, at age 20, have the feeling of peace and faith over and over again.

Our prayers are always answered, whether it's a vivid dream or a subtle feeling and I know that not one of us has any need to fear, as long as we hold on to the rod.

I just can't hide it

2009-08-30T18:29:00.001-07:00

I am so excited for this week for two reasons.

Reason numero uno:

Lover boy will be here in approximately 4 days and 16 1/2 hours (enter ecstatic dance)

Reason numero dos:

Gina B (soon to be P) will be sealed for time and all eternity on Saturday. It is going to be glorious. I am very happy for Gina and I will post all about it after the wedding.

I just really needed to share my excitement on both of these topics.

Megnic

2009-08-15T07:15:00.000-07:00

It's my best sister's birthday today. She is freakin old. 24 years ago she graced this earth with her presence and ever since, the world has been nothing but a party.

Yes, we did spend the first 16 years of my life (so years 4-20 for her), trying to destroy the others very essence. But somehow, we ended up where we are now....living together by choice. My sis is my best friend. She knows me upside down and inside out. I'm sure she spends a lot of her time rolling her eyes at me and my life's random/so weird dramas (it's quite the infamous eye roll too...). But she sure listens to what I have to say and she is always there to back me up.

There is no other person on this planet that I connect with more than Meg. We are 100% total and complete opposites in every aspect of our lives. But you put us in a room together and it is sheer chaos. Megan is absolutely hilarious and when it comes to the two of us we share a sense of humor that no other human being can even begin to grasp.

Megan and I go way back so the memories are endless. I remember the day I was born and she told me that on my 21st birthday she would give me a million dollars.....can't wait Meg! But really, we share a bond that is stronger and more deep than I ever thought possible. She is my best friend before she is my sister.

I love my sis so much and I would not be able to survive this life without her.

Happy birthday Meggie!!!

Go shorty, it's your birthday.

2009-07-23T04:11:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is my mothers 17th, 30th birthday.

There is one word to describe my mother and that is FABULOUS. I love my mom so much. I know I can call her and talk to her about anything and she pays attention to what I have to say. I always hated it when I was a teenager and she would say things like "I've been there too". It drove me absolutely crazy. But now I have come to realize that she really has been there, and back, and there again, and back again...and she knows exactly what she's talking about (except for the whole "eating the crust on bread makes your teeth stronger" thing...I doubt it).My mom has raised each and every one of her six kids to be strong in the gospel and to set good examples to those around us. And she has done it succesfully! I hope she realizes what an accomplishment that is. It seems like she knew what she was doing from day one and she always knew the right punishment for each kid. I cannot wait for the day when I can use the phrase "peace or force"...that means you can do what she asks peacefully or she can force you to do it :).

I love my mother. She has been such an example to me and is someone I can tell everything to and she gets it. Even when it's something like "Hey mom...I'm flying across the country...to meet a boy". I hope that I can be half of the mother that she has been for me. She always knows what to say and she can remain calm under any situation. I am sure she questioned her sanity at times...like when she pulls into the driveway to see snowmen on the roof...holes in the wall from rollerblades being thrown...a stray cat in the closet... There were days when I thought our family wouldn't make it but somehow she got us through each and every one of lifes HUGE and small trials. I don't know how she did it.

I look up to my mom more than she will ever know. I hope that I can be a mom just like her. She has such a strong testimony of the gospel and in all of my 20 years I have never had to question the church because I could see it's truthfulness through my mom and her example. I hope I can have 1/8th of her patience and love, for my kids, that she has had for each one of us.

Mom, I'm sorry I wasn't an easy kid to raise and that I spent more of my childhood throwing tantrums and screaming at my brothers than anything. Thank you so much for always being there with a warm chocolate chip cookie and words of wisdom. I love you so much.

Happy Birthday!

Almost Fine

2009-07-09T05:06:00.000-07:00

I just need to get this out and then I will be able to go on my merry way. And I'm sorry for how vague this is going to be. It's all part of the fun.

I had somebody beat my game. I have been playing a particular game for quite some time now. Some people make it as far as level three but nobody ever passes that. They lose for various reasons, typically reasons dealing with being over bearing, having no life, or desperation. But this person wasn't any of those. This person made it to level one right off the bat...they had my interest...then they made it to level two...they kept my interest. Level three is the hard one but they made it, they not only kept me interested but now I was just intrigued. Nobody has ever, ever made it this far into the game. And I have never wanted more than one person to get there.They had everything that a person trying to beat my game needs to have.

There was one thing they were lacking but with their response to the topic, they won. I had no plan on anyone ever truly beating my game. I had a few people that I would say..yeah if this and this change, they could maybe win. I had no intention of letting this person win. They were not supposed to win, and with their job, they couldn't win. But then something happened...a change in their life that meant that winning was a possibility. So, I did what I thought was the thing to do and I just freakin let them win. I got rid of the majority of my pride, let my guard down, and let this person beat every level of my stupid game. I started making plans and being optimistic about future both short term and long term. The realistic part of my brain toppled out the window.

Then that thing in their life that changed, suddenly switched back to how it was in the beginning. The thing that would prevent anyone from ever winning my game. I never thought it would be me. I was unbeatable...my game could not be won! I was indestructable and had a heart of steal. But now the plans I started thinking about need to be put on hold.

This is why I don't EVER make a plan, it's pointless. This is why I call myself a realist, because anything more positive than that can and will let me down. There are still options for the both of us, so I'm not calling it quits. I'm not giving up and I'll still hold on to hope. I'm not accepting defeat, but I can't stand the feeling that I might be losing.

Shananagan

2009-06-29T07:22:00.000-07:00

Today is the third birthday of this sweet little girl.

I recall late summer of 2006, my mother and I frequented the pet store. It was to fill a void in my life after dear sammy had been, misplaced. I never really liked that yappy rat looking thing, she was much better as the neighbors dog than as our dog. Nonetheless, some things can and must be used to my full advantage.

My mom and I had fallen in love with a great dane. We named her Dorothy and she was to die for. But a great dane was slightly bigger than the type of dog my parents would appreciate living in our home. I then spotted a schnauzer, this is one of the breeds my dad loves, and seeing that his birthday was a week away I thought that having him come to the pet store he would fall in love with it and everything in the world would be good again. *Note: I have not forgotten about Maxwell, I was only thinking of him and the benefits of bringing home a friend to him.

After a lot of convincing and a secret converstion my parents had of "take her to the pet store, turn her down, and shut her up!" My father and I were on our way to (hopefully) come home with a schnauzer. The anticipation had me overwhelmed with excitment beyond the thrill of a child entering disneyland for the first time (Not that I know what that's like). We walked in and I went straight to the cage with little schnuaz. To my dismay my father rejected him in about .3 seconds but he curiously walked around scoping out all the other schnoodle-shi's and pomer-ador-tzu's that petland had.

I asked the khaki'd out employee if I could hold the schnauzer..since we both had been rejected and should spend time together in the play area. After I had managed to dry my eyes and accept defeat, I was not getting a puppy today, I stood up and said "where's my dad?" To which the employee replied "he's in there". I look over the edge, into play area #2, and there he is, playing with a yellow lab puppy. I stood in shock, do I laugh? Do I cry? Do I take the dog and run home before he changes his mind? I simply stepped into the pen and sat down and said "I love the name Annie" and his response "Yes, I was thinking Annabelle".

The drive home was a blast, we didn't tell my mother. We went home and she asked how it was and my dad said "fine, it's a pet store". She then walked into the kitchen, shut the basement door, to see me standing there holding Annabelle...her new best enemy.

Happy birthday Annabelle, Shanterbelle, Annerbelle, Bella, Shanana-banana, Belles, Annie! You've lasted second longest in the Christensen home! I will shred one of every pair of my shoes in your honor.

am I....aging?

2009-06-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

I've been noticing the weirdest thing ever lately. I feel like a grown up. Maybe it's that I watch Luke so all of the sudden I feel like a mother..I don't know but it's freaky. When I went home to Wisconsin my friend Rachel even told me I looked older. K, like how much older? Because I feel 45.

So I was kind of forced against my will to buy a car last week, I knew I needed a new one at some point but not right this minute. But whatever, so I buy this car. Forcefully became adult in about two hours. I had no IDEA I had so much OCD in me. I get these tendencies to be the person that parks away from all the other cars, so that no one can scratch it. Seriously? And that thing is spotless and to remain spotless forever. There is not one thing out of place and if there is I almost hyperventilate. I am slowly becoming OCD about more than just my car. As of late, all I want to do is clean, organize, work, walk, sleep, and repeat. It's so weird. I have this itch to constantly be doing something worthwhile and I feel empty and lost if I'm just sitting around. I have got to be losing my mind entirely.

So, Kait and I have been house sitting for some friends of their family (I guess I have been sleeping in their bed for two weeks so I might be close to being a friend of theirs, as well). Anyway, this is what I did this morning (besides dishes, laundry, and clean) and I must say I am proud.

Before:

And After...

This is really is the life.

surprise.....not

2009-06-01T19:29:00.000-07:00

This morning I wrote this blog. I was going to post pictures underneath every paragraph and have it be all pretty and fun. I was going to do that when I got home from work.....

I am sooo out of ideas on what to blog about. Nothing eventful is going on at all.

Like I could talk about Walter the great dane that Kaitlyn and I have been watching this last week and my undying love for him and how great of a dog he is. And how cute he is when he sees his little friends next door and how I am pretty sure they are only friends with him because together the three of them might be able to take out the mastiff across the street. Dogs are capable of that kind of conformity, but talking about Walter might make those (imagine me cringing).....non dog lovers....a little uncomfortable.

Or I could talk about the amazing nights rest I get every night staying at the Stotts. Their bed is actually heaven. I have better dreams because of this bed and I am pretty sure I wake up prettier than when I went to bed. But, I can't go into too much detail about this because everyone will suddenly want to come sleep in the bed. And hi, we aren't married people so...yeah nope.

I also could discuss my adorable nephews and how much fun they are. Seriously, these three little boys are the cutest little guys ever. And I cannot believe how big they are getting! Like Caden is already three. That's like a small man, no longer a baby. But, if I discuss them then nobody else will have kids because they know that their offspring won't be near as cute. Maybe I could just talk about my whole family in general...but that would cause serious problems if people are already doubting starting a family because there is no comparison to mine.

Talking about the church is another idea. I could seriously ramble on and on about the church. Kaitlyn, Heather, and I went to temple square about two weeks ago and it was so great. I would say the garden on top of the conference center (I sadly didn't know existed) was close to the coolest part. Or the tear jerking walk-through-the-house family video. I actually learned a lot when we went there, it was so cool! However, I would hate to make people envious of my knowledge of church history...so scratch that idea.

(this part is funny)
I could discuss the new car I would like to buy. But that raises millions of questions about can I afford one/people telling me which car is better than which. And I would hate for people to think that me wanting the exact same car I have only a newer version...makes me boring and predictable. And then people might throw in names and then tears will be shed when I tell them no, no, I have a name for him already.

Another topic of discussion could be how sad my life is now that my army text bff that my brother introduced me to is training til the tenth and I feel like my social life is now 1/4 of what it was. I don't know which is more sad...he is the only person that talks to me or that I have to use my brother for friends or that I call our text conversations my social life.

I could go on and on about the massive amounts of people getting engaged and how hot tamales have been my main source of nutrition as of late or Brittan teaching me about pandora radio or how badly I want to go volunteer abroad. Or I guess I could talk about my five year plan that I recently thought up. But, until I think of just the perfect thing you guys will have to sit in anticipation while I remain mute.

I hope you paid close attention. I never did get to go home and finish my cute blog. I never did get to go home. period.

I happily was driving and noticed that Lewis started making an unusual, yet familiar, sound. I called up Ken Garff Nissan and said I just need to bring by my car to have him looked at. One minute later I hear....
pdpdpdpdpdpdpdpdpdpdpd PDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPD!!!!!!!!!! brrrrrruckprrrrrrrrrrrrrPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRfjadskhlfaswkjl.
uhehem. uheeeeehem.

Megan to the rescue, as usual.
It wasn't that he was out of gas, his spirit had left him. He breathed his last breath. Well, I was at a loss. I had to buy Lewey II. He is a decade younger and a nice shade of gold. I'll let you know more about him later because my brain is mush and tired and super stoked for another day beginning at 4am.

It's been real.

2009-05-23T21:12:00.001-07:00

I don't mean to this to be a cheesy post, but it might turn out as such.

This last week I have been in Wisconsin, visiting my family. I don't want to leave! It has been so much fun and I got to see some old friends and my brother got home from the Army so I got to hang out with him too. I also went to my brothers baseball games, which took place at my old high school. It just all took me back. It took me back to the days of skipping school to go get frosty's...or really anything at all, with Gina and hanging out in david and david's basements..while they drank and I sat there strictly for the company. I miss the life here so much. It was so nice to go out on a walk and not hear a single car on the road because the roads aren't busy, it's so calm and I miss the big yards and the green trees and green grass all over the place. I miss being surrounded by people that are so genuine. There is nothing better than going somewhere where people want to see you. Where when people find out you're in town, you feel kinda popular and well liked. I miss being the innocent mormon girl that people watch their language around, I miss being an example to people and not being the same as everyone else. Oh and when you're here, you don't even bother doing your hair after you shower, cuz the humidity will do what it wants with it anyway and you can hang out in a t-shirt and people have no idea if you're pants cost $20 or $100 because it simply doesn't matter. It feels so good to be here, living this oddly quiet life and I am so sad to have to step back into the fast pace life I live. Where I have a routine and eat the same foods and have to go to the gym because I can't just take my dogs on walks 3 times a day. But even though my life isn't the simple one and it exhausts me sometimes, I have to say it's a dang good one and I am very grateful for that.

word to my mother

2009-05-10T12:14:00.002-07:00

Hey Mom. Happy Mother's Day. I love you. Your present is on it's way....with me next Tuesday!!!

In other news-

Kaitlyn and I made our first music video debut. Check it out, tell us the cold hard truth of what you think (positive comments only).

Meet Mason

2009-04-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

In recent years I have had countless pets. I blame my attachment issues on the amount of pets that have come in and out of my life, since I was just a mere child. Let me remind you that none of my pets have died, they just have been simply and sadly aborted out of my life.

We had Willy, Cosmo, Zorro, Duke, Sammy, and Amelia....just to name a few. I think Teddy is the only one that has left my life not by someone saying they simply no longer wanted him in their life. Oh the sacrifices I have made and the tears I have shed. I blame my tear ducts being dried up on the amount of pets that have left my life as well.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am here to announce the arrival of Mason Clydesdale I.

Recently a dear friend was taken from mine and Kaitlyn's lives alike. So we decided that we wouldn't replace that good little fella but we would simply fill in the gaps that have been left emptier than the inside of a turkey on Thanksgiving. We began with a venture to Petsmart, we paced the store trying to find the perfect little critter. I fell madly in love with the Golden Retriever but I had a feeling that maybe I will save that surprise for my husband in the years to come. Something was telling me that Petsmart was not the place for us to be. I suggested one of my personal favorites, Animal Ark. I had such extreme luck with the former rodent that I thought we should give it another shot. We walked in and I saw that light. On the ground, inside a cage, ready to go, were two little guys. With a sign saying "two male guinea pigs and cage $59.99". It was no coincidence. Kaitlyn and I took no time to get them out of their cages and call them our own. Without hesitating for a second, I picked up that sweet, mohawked, red-eyed, thing and cuddled him in my arms. I will call him Mason.

So, there is only one thing left to say...Welcome home Mason and Sylvester! Welcome home!

Really

2009-04-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

is it weird to be dating someone, break it off, not talk once after it is over, then two weeks later open your facebook inbox to them sending you this:

Reason, Season, and Lifetime..

People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do...
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,or to provide you with guidance and support,to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be....
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end....
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on....
When people come into your life for a SEASON,it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends....
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being part of my life.

Boys. I can't get them to just forget about me.

Kill The Lights

2009-04-16T11:17:00.000-07:00

So I went to see ITS BRITNEY bitch on Tuesday. Pardon my language, it's not swearing if you're quoting someone. Anyway....It was EPIC to say the least. At first it was the pussycat dolls, whom I am aspiring to be like. Then it was my one and only idol...BRITNEY. I was taken back to my youth,when I went to her first concert, this one was slightly bigger. She was slightly bigger too. But man, if I could dance in boots and wear those sequen pants, I wouldn't care about anything else. Except for my hot background dancing boyfriend. That I would care about, as well. Anyway, she is smokin hot. I think she should seriously consider having concerts here on a weekly basis.

I was in pure circus heaven.

But the very best part of the entire evening was as the night was coming to a close. We were stuck in the parking garage and for some reason NO ONE was moving. It was treacherous to say the least. We were sitting there for I think 45 minutes when there was finally some movement. So silverado tried squeezing in between us and bmw. That was so not happening. Megan would not allow such idiocracy. So we stayed about 1 inch away from bmw when silverado gets SO mad and was getting closer and closer to hitting us. I seriously wish Meg would have just let her hit us, it would have been hilarious. So....Silverado finally got close enough that Megan gave up (or so it seemed) and let the truck in and driver so dramatically flipped us off. I thought it was game over, we just got beat by a skinny fat girl in an oversized truck. But Megan, having not been born just yesterday, had a different plan. We cut through the parking lot and attempted skipping about 4 other cars...we thought we were stuck but no, no, not us. We paid off scion with 3 dollars to let us go in front of them. WE WON. We always do.

Reasons, like seasons, they constantly change.

2009-04-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

I was going to go back to Wisconsin for the summer. I was really excited about it. I then found out that Heather, a girl I work with, was quitting. She was offered a promotion at her other job that she couldn't turn down. That would have left The Factory in a slight bind. So Dustin, the boss man, sent me an email asking if he gave me a raise if I would stay here, he also is being really generous with giving me time off to see my family throughout the summer. I felt like I could not turn that down. I guess this is where I am supposed to be. Even though somedays I want nothing more than to hang out with my parents and to go to my little brothers baseball games, I know that there is a reason I should stay here. I don't have a clue what it is because if I really were to elaborate on my crazy life as of now...or the last year and a half..I'm sure a few would advise me to go home and never look back. But I will say, I have beyond amazing friends out here...I don't think they are aware of how great they really are, I live with a wonderful family that has helped me out more than they know, I have a spectacular sister that I love so much, a nephew that makes me think I like children because he is so adorable, a great ward that reaches out to me constantly, and a really great job. Oh! and I have insurance now! So, the pros of staying here outway the cons and I wouldn't be a Christensen if the second I made a plan, something came along to change those plans. But all I can say is, I am so blessed to the point I feel like I don't even deserve it. But I will definitely not complain!

This is Weird

2009-02-03T21:26:00.000-08:00

My life is weird.
The whole thing is just weird. It's weird how I can't drink out of a glass without a straw without spilling all over myself. It's kinda weird how my parents don't really care for animals and I have some odd obsession with them. It might be strange that my sister and I are 100% total opposites. It's a little weird that my entire family is blonde. So many things that have happened and are happening are so weird. My life has never been one for the norm. Have I ever mentioed the time I moved across the country in about 6 seconds or the time I cried my eyes out because my mom told me snails are gross and I couldn't have one as a pet? Or how about when me and my friend would jump on each others arms to try and break them? My life has always been a little off and these days it seems even more off. My spanish class is full of weirdos that don't know how to say trabajar or ellos. They literally cannot grasp that J makes an "h" and ll makes a "y". My math professor doesn't open her mouth when she talks, she only moves her lips and keeps her teeth clenched. That is so weird. I think the amount of money the people in my biology class spend on their appearance could save a third world country. That is a bunch of weirdys. I think work is weird sometimes. I walk in and I never know what to expect. I might be sent to set up volleyball nets, I might have to make a phone call about a stray dog in the parking lot, it's likely I will be complained to about something random like no toilet paper in the bathroom or someone might fly through a window. It's all weird stuff, not normal stuff. See I thought seeing my old boyfriend from four years ago for the first time in, four years, at school was weird. I think its weirder that he texts me everyday. EVERYDAY. And it's always really enthusiastic, like "hey amber how was your day???? mine was good!!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! are you at work!?!?! ha ha ha ha!" see, that's weird. It's so weird how I have a mirror image. I have actually looked in the mirror and thought I was Kaitlyn. Everything that we can do like raise one lip raise an eyebrow, its the opposite and that's weird. The right side of me is always colder than the left, which is weird. I think it's weird how girls feel the urge to share how hairy their legs are. But they always do. Everytime a girl wears shorts it always follows with the comment "man, my legs are hairy". I do it too and it's kinda weird. What I'm really getting at here is that life is just weird. My life is the weirdest it's been since I used to pretend I was a german sheperd named Magic and would sleep in my hamper. I love the weirdness. I am LOVING every minute of it. I just want to bask in this weirdness forever. Everyone probably looks at me in my world of weirdness and twitterpation and just thinks I'm crazy. I'm not crazy, we're all just kinda weird. But I wouldn't trade this weird life for anything. Especially right now...man oh man alive.

fantASIA

2009-01-13T23:35:00.000-08:00

So I was washing my hands post going to the bathroom and there are three girls standing there talking. Two are white and one is asian. The white girls are about 7 and the asian is probably 3. So apparently little asia is adopted and is girl #1's little sister. Asias name is Abby, and so is girl #2 (also known as Abby). So Older Abby turns to girl #1, with just immense confusion on her face, and says
"So, am I named after a chinese name?.... or is Abby named after a white person name?"

jeans are jeans

2009-01-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

My friend Nate was telling me earlier today about this kid that was at ihop on new years morning.

There were two guys and one, asian, came in a little later very excited about something that had just happened. He was telling his friends about his trip to buckle prior to their ihop outing. Asia went to buckle to find himself a new pair of jeans. He found the PERFECT pair. They were absolutely wonderful, he could not live without them!! BUT, they were too expensive! way too expensive. He decided to try them on, just to get a taste of the greatest pants he has ever laid eyes on. He proceeded to tell his other expensively troused friends about how wonderful these pants really were and that he tried them on and they were perfect, he even kept telling the sales person to convince him NOT to buy the jeans because they were just soo expensive. Well, while he was in these fancy bloomers his not-so-friend called. And he said the rudest thing anyone could ever say! The most degrading thing this young man has ever heard! I mean his friend was p-u-r-e e-v-i-l. His friend had said something so incredibly out of this world and penurious, he was enraged. His friend said "why don't you buy cheap jeans? jeans are jeans man". Asia was LIVID. He sarcastically said "thanks dad!" and hung up the phone. Jeans are jeans?! How coould someone say that????? But better yet...the meanest most senseless thing this young man has EVER heard, in his entire life, is JEANS ARE JEANS!?
If that was the meanest thing everyone has ever heard and/or said in their lives. The world would really be in quite some good shape! I would actually be the happiest person known to man if all anyone ever said was "jeans are jeans". There would be nothing like "oh those jeans make you look fat" or "you suck at everything". I'm going to try to make that the meanest thing I could say to someone...Life will be glorious.

Well the story isn't quite over. See Nate and I decided that if he were to be in our presence for a solid minute we could have him in tears. Lucky you asia, thanks for going to the mall the same time we did. We followed him into a store I didn't even know existed. It was full of true religions and any other brand of pants you can name. Nate and I had quite the time arguing over which pants to buy....and we made it very clear that jeans are NOT just jeans. They define a person. I mean show your backside some respect here people. Well, him and his friends left the store so we followed. I then approached this young man and asked "where did you get those jeans? my friend here really needs a new pair and just does not know where to look!" He simply smiled, said no words, just pointed....right there....Express. I should have known. I thanked him and yelled "nate, we have arrived".

A little newsletter from me to you, you.

2008-12-24T09:19:00.000-08:00

This has been quite the year if i do say so myself.

January:

The very first day was the end of an era. I won't specify which era but it was the end and a good end at that. It brought to pass this year with a bang. The second day of January I moved into a beautiful apartment just steps away from campus. I have this thing where my chi is very connceted to those chi of different cultures than I. I was now living with an asian and an ethiopian and two very angry girls that have been prosperous in their eating habits.
#14

February:

A very boring month if I do say so myself. I went to Chili's with Tayler on valentine's day and we watched as gay men enjoyed each others company. While we ate our paradise pie and pittied ourselves. I purchased Amelia as well. that is all i can recollect.

March:

This month was divine. I started and ended a relationship with a boy that was strictly based on vanity. Then I went to Moab with my BEST FRIENDS EVER!! I loved those people ever so much....so much that I then started a relationship with one of them. He was aspiring to be a fisherman in Alaska. I also got a haircut this month. She misunderstood shoulder length for chin length...and layers for slaughtering. My hair is just now starting to forgive me, almost ten months later.
#15

April:

This month was full of boyfriend, boyfriend, and more boyfriend. I couldn't have loved life any more than I did that entire month. We went fourwheeling and I even rode a horse.
#16

May:

I randomly decided that maybe I didn't want to live in Alaska when I grew up and maybe I would like to be single and admit that maybe I liked fourwheelers more than my actual boyfriend. Poor him. I then moved from the apartment that had officially been taken over by asians into a newer apartment. It was, instead, full of motherly love. My roommate was 45 and kickin it old school.

June:

Kate moved into my apartment...life saver! She introduced me to a few new people and country dancing. If there is anything I hate more than raisins, it's dancing. I forgave her. Then Gina moved out here! couldn't have been better. Life was good again.

July:

July seems to have started yet another era. An era whera I learned that if you don't like 'em, leave 'em. Gina, so and so, and I decided to go to Las Vegas. Why when gas is $4 a gallon would people venture off to do such a thing? Because we are free, and we can. Well so and so had a hard time wtih Gina and I apparently a year prior to this so she decided to take out all her aggression and go for a long drive....back home. Thank you James for being so devoted to Gina that you would come to our rescue. Sorry about your car breaking down.
Oh, the Iranians. Bless their hearts.
#17, #18

August:

Tyler and Katy got married, finally! I spent two solid weeks in Wisconsin doing absolutely nothing but play guitar hero. Then school started...oh school. Your very existence makes me want to choke. This is the month where it all started with the ukulele. Everywhere I have gone there has been someone playing a ukulele in the background. Whether its work, school, the grocery store..what have you. someone is playing it.
#19

September:

A month I vaguely remember. I finally reached the point in life I had much anticipted. the big 2-0. Not in age but an amount of how many different people a certain event could take place with. He was a professional baseball player....no wait....his dad was really rich.....no wait.......his brother was a professional basketball player....yeah thats it.....oh wait....there's more.....oh....he was 32, divorced, and a felon. That's right!...number 20. That is success.
The ukulele still has not quit.

October:

Lucas was born!! I actually lived at Megan's at this point and my family came to visit! I very much love that little boy! Still some ukulele, can't quite figure out the significance of it. It must be that...they....are watching.

November:

thank yu for this month. Kaitlyn and I decided to move into a new apartment. This was the best decision I have ever made. It was the cutest most private, just like new, apartment. Well, kinda private, kinda shared with the people that live above (not to be confused with actual landlords). We then proceeded to move out. We needed a little more ukulele this month.

December:

I reached the real 2-0. I moved into the Flanagans and have proceeded to live there this whole time. I don't even recall sleeping at Megan's once! I think December has been the best month so far. It's been a lot of fun and gone by very fast. I can't believe Christmas is tomorrow and I go home the day after! It's simply been bliss. Knock on Wood. I can only imagine what 2009 can bring, maybe a 21?? I will continue this next year trying to figure out the significance of someone walking around playing a ukulele. I think I know the meaning but I would prefer not to speak too soon.

7, 9, 11, 15, 17, 20, 22

2008-12-20T07:03:00.000-08:00

what could these numbers mean??

At age 7 you aren't quite baptized. But you put on your favorite flower shirt and take your puppy on a walk and have the best day ever.

At age 9 you haven't quite reached the double digits. But you put on your AWESOME new shoes and take your dog on a walk, teach him a new trick, and have a very good day.

At age 11 the double digits are old news. Now you just want to wear a bra and join young womens because that is MUCH cooler than primary. And you're starting to realize that almost everything is your parents fault. Down to the fact that your dog bit the neighbor and so you had to get rid of him. Throw a big enough fit though, and next thing you know you have a new puppy and you are convinced the world is set right.

At age 15 you are, technically, worthless. You know how to drive, for the most part, but you can't go anywhere without mommy or daddy in the seat next to you. You can't quite date, can't quite drive but you sure as heck think you are old enough to do anything and you hate your parents because of it.

At 17 you have now been driving and dating for a year. That's old news, you're awesome. Now you aren't quite graduated and you aren't quite an adult and you're not quite sure if you can be tried as an adult or not in court. But you think you are old enough to do anything and you have almost stopped blaming your parents for not having you just a year sooner. You're manipulation skills are now through the roof. You now have a dog and a puppy!

At 20, the beloved and much anticipated birthday, you aren't quite a REAL adult. Because the real ones still scare the crap out of you when they talk to you. You can't quite gamble and you can't quite drink (neither of these apply but oh well). Real adults think that you should act like an adult but they still will treat you like you are fresh out of high school. You're somewhere between a feshman and a junior in college. You have stopped blaming your parents for all the things that went wrong and now realize how much they actually did right. Except that they let your puppy turn into an old dog while you were away at college.

22 is just the number of cop cars i saw today exiting the freeway and now i wish to know why.

And thank you everyone for making my birthday just glorious :). It was great from the second it started to the second it ended!

Did not see this coming.

2008-12-17T23:18:00.001-08:00

So today was kind of a long day at work. It just was dragging on and on. Then the best thing to ever happen...I had to scorekeep FOR THREE HOURS! I was incredibly annoyed. Because first off, I had to help this girl that doesn't actually pay attention so I would have done a better job if I had been doing it alone. It was so boring. I told the girl that if I fell asleep to just not bother waking me up. I actually was so bored that I started doing a play by play of everything happening. She didn't think it was as amusing as I did. My favorite play by play was this.....

"He shoots, he misses, number 21 gets it....he scores!...Black has the ball....now white! number 32 shoots...he misses....11 gets the rebound! They're running.....AND THAT GUY GOES THROUGH THE WINDOW!!!"

then it went a lot like this....

"holy Sh** holy sh** oh my, holy sh**oh no what do we do? holy sh**"

yeah, a guy kinda jumped and was kinda pushed through the window! It was a bloody mess.

cilantro

2008-12-05T19:31:00.001-08:00

For those of you that don't know...I could eat cilantro for breakfast,

lunch, and dinner.

I saw a particular blog about someone comparing themself to a spice and how other spices are often jealous of this spice, want to be this spice, and this spice isn't for everyone. I am here to prove that my herb would take out that spice in a food fight. As you can see above, I am much like that as a particular herb.

Please bare with me as I compare cilantro to myself.

Cilantro is a soft, hairless plant. I too, am soft and hairless.

Uses: it's commonly used in Africa, Middle East, South Asia, Latin America, India, Mexico. I too have been used by all of those ethnicities.

Some people may perceive the taste of cilantro as "unpleasant". I too am, at times, unpleasant. But those that give me more than a chance see that they cannot live without me and i just add flavor.

The leaves disappeared for a period of time, I too disappear for periods of time.

For optimum flavor cilantro leaves should be placed away from sunlight, heat, and sealed in a tight container.

Sometimes you should lock me in a tight container away from the sun so that when i get out i have my full flavor.

Oh how I just LOVE cilantro and how people just wish they could get enough cilantro and people CRAVE cilantro. People in the cafe rio line screaming "MORE CILANTRO!!" "EXTRA CILANTRO!!" "No chips, no guac, no cheese, JUST CILANTRO!"

I'm SO cilantro.

Any friend of Ronald Regan is a friend of mine.

2008-12-02T13:35:00.000-08:00

Kaitlyn and I moved into our apartment yesterday, it was kinda weird to move in and we couldn't quite figure out why this place still had it's old owners stuff in it and why there were so many books and vinyls. We figured the old owners were just renting it out to the china's who are now renting the basement to us. Pictures of this apartment will be posted soon....because the entire world is missing out on the red shag carpet and the accordian wall.

So last night, out of boredom and curiosity, I stumbled across the closet just through our launditchen. I thought it was just a simple creepy storage room, it is nothing like that at all. Apparently the guy that used to live here was AMAZING. Look him up, his name is Lorin F. Wheelwright. He wrote Latter Day Saint Hymns (including mother I love you...I LOVE that song) and was a dean at BYU. The entire storage room is full of pictures (he was a photographer on top of everything else) and a way old fashion camera and more pictures and then, something that is now sitting on the entertainment center, there was a signed picture of Ronald Regan that says "Lorin, will you be my running mate? We can jog every morning". can you believe that?? because I couldn't. This guy is incredible!! I am seriously amazed. I wish everyone could come here and see the thousands of books all over the entire apartment and the vinyls too. He was nothing short of a genius. He studied at Julliard, got his masters at University of Chicago, and his PHD from Columbia University. He became the dean at BYU in 1963 and started the Mormon Arts Festival in 1969. I am seriously in shock and want to go through all of his things! I don't know why I suddenly feel like I need to know everything about him, I just think there is so much to learn! I really want to meet his family too, and when i find my usb cord i am putting up pictures so you can get the full effect. What a great way to fill time.

So much to be thankful for...

2008-11-27T19:42:00.000-08:00

I didn't get the chance to have Thanksgiving with my whole family. That actually really made me sad. I miss my mom and dad and brothers and Katy soo much! and don't get me started on Annie and Max. But I was still lucky enough to eat two meals with two very great families. I spent the first one with my brother Ryan and his wife and her family. I felt a little awkward, being the outsider, but it was so great to be with some true Wisconsinites. I felt so at home. Then I spent the other one with Megan's husbands family. They are really like my extended family ( I don't mean they are like them, I mean they are practically my extended family) and Cory's grandma is so classy, I love it. I never feel out of place there because they are all so welcoming and act like I'm just one of them.
Well at Ryan and Jenny's we went around and said something that we were grateful for and then jokingly went around saying what we were ungrateful for. I actually struggled with that one because I don't actually have anything that I'm not grateful...everything lately has fallen into place (knock on wood). well, here are a few things I am grateful for.....

1. My family. Each and every one of them are so different from each other but they all have taught me something and helped me so much at different points in my life. Megan is seriously my hero sister. I would probably be dead without her. Ryan and Tyler I just observe and learn, they're kinda the quiet type. Jared and Jake are so cute and soo smart and I am so proud of them and the example they are to their friends. And my parents, they never divorced, never beat us, and always provided food and shelter for us and always encouraged us to do exactly what we wanted to do. Those are things a lot of kids can't say that their parents did. And all my in laws. Cory has a lot of patience with me hanging around all the time and puts meggie first in everything and Jenny is such an amazing mom and wife that never gives up and katy is such a good wife, i cant imagine my husband leaving for the army right after we got married...its incredible that she can do it!

2. Gina...she's been there with me through an awful lot. I would not be half the person I am if I didn't have her as my example through crappy high school and lame college. She really has kept me in line all these years and never left my side.

3. Kaitlyn...I'm very glad she started working at The Factory not too long ago. I found an amazing friend and new roommate all in one! and our Wednesday nights at work could not possibly get any better...just wait til we put it all on youtube.

4. Dog Lady. That lady whose dog I'm watching this weekend has no idea how much she made my weekend. I am getting paid to play with a dog. I have been deprived of such privaleges forever and she has saved me.

5. My nephews, they are so cute and being there up until a few hours before Luke was born brought me so close to the spirit. He actually taught me a lot those 9 months he was in his moms stomach and made me think a lot more about heaven and where we come from and where we will end up.

6. My new apartment, it is really the greatest place in the world. I was getting so frustrated not being able to find a good place and this one seriously felt perfect. I love it and cannot wait to move in!

7. Animals...what would be my hobby if I didn'thave these blessed creatures?

8. I'm grateful for the people out there that still believe in God. The ones that speak out always seem to be so anti any sort of belief in a higher being. It's good to hear about the people that still believe every once in a while.

9. My dear car. He gets me everywhere and doesn't even want to die.

10. Lastly, my independence. I am thankful that I have the drive to go places and I'm not afraid of whatever life wants to throw at me and I'm grateful for the people that encourage me and tell me to just do what I want to do and don't hold me back.

And in the words of Josh Groban...There is so much to be thankful for!

7 things

2008-11-21T09:54:00.000-08:00

Thank you Kaitlyn for the tag...I will be sure to not eat salmon or pickles in front of you.

7 things i can do....

1. Make people laugh
2. Sway/convince people very easily (or manipulate...whichever you choose to say)
3. Tell what breed a dog is from nine miles away.
4. Basically I can train a dog to do anything.
5. Mock Asians unbelievably well
6. Take on a lot of stress at one time and have it not even phase me.
7. Be very understanding of other people

7 things i can't do...

1. Hug people and actually be comfortable with it
2. Talk to my boss or in front of my classmates
3. sing
4. play really any sport
5. make a plan and stick to it
6. make brownies. they always come out like burnt liquid. its so weird.
7. draw a circle. they ALWAYS end up having at least one corner.

7 things that attracted me to my spouse...
ok im changing that to 7 things I want in my spouse...

1. Priesthood holder...clearly
2. not green eyes. preferably not brown hair either. preferably blonde hair and blue eyes. Or brown hair, eyes, and skin. I won't be picky though.
3. not spoiled as a kid, they have to have had a job and maybe some life struggles to go with it
4. someone that understands me and doesn't question why i do things the way i do
5. someone that is independent
6. they have to be hilarious...like make me rofl hilarious
7. they HAVE to like dogs and maybe a cat. Well and kids too.

7 things i say most often...

1. "haha..thats funny" (even if its hilarious or i dont get it or not funny at all...its the same phrase, same tone)
2. "the factory and velocity sports performance this is amber" (i stole that from kaitlyn)
3. "ugh thats soo gay!"
4. I rhyme everyones name. "Megan Malegan", "Lukey Minukey", "Gina La Paphina"....etc.
5. "ya idiot"
6. "can i get a what what"
7. "this is ridiculous"

7 celebrity admirations...

1. Josh Groban is my absolute hero
2. Whitney Houston
3. Angelina Jolie....go ahead and gag everyone but I really like some things about her
4. I
5. think
6. that's
7. it

7 favorite foods...

1. Shrimp
2. Salad
3. Sandwiches
4. Soup
5. Shakes
6. S?
7. S?
that'S real, I only love foodS that Start with S.

I tag Gina, Katy, and Kaylee....Megan I'm already expecting to do this.